A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really having trouble getting over my past relationship. Last year a lot of things happened--my car was stolen, I had to move homes, my boyfriend got in a terrible car accident (basically unrecognizable) and I nursed him through the entire thing without any support from his family. I literally walked to hell and back with him during this time and the love I gave to him only grew during this time. I was there with him every step of the way and told him every day that I loved him.Flash forward to this year. I had a huge work commitment that took a lot of time and energy away from the relationship. We hardly got to see one another and I felt bad that I had to go through this but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I told him this and he just got upset and said all I did was talk about work and how stressed out I was. I said maybe we should go on a break then, take some time and let me go through this. Go out with your friends, do your own thing and if it is meant to be, it will.Once my obligation was up and I could truly focus on the relationship, I talked to him and he said that he didn't want to be with me anymore and wanted to date other people. I was stunned that the man I was so in love with would turn his back on me so quickly.I can't help but feel hurt that during my moment, when I needed someone to be there for me, he wasn't. He kept telling me to quit, leave, give up....none of the qualities I possess at all. Maybe I just give up too much of myself and wind up getting burned in the end. I don't know. Needless to say, I love him and want to make this work. I'm going to see him in 2 weeks as he has moved for another job. What should I say? Is there anything I could say that will really strike home with him? I don't want to go in there all emotional and upset. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): It's just a thought but did your boyfriend sustain a head injury in his car crash? I am not medically qualified, but I do know that a person's personality can change quite dramatically if they have sustained a head injury. Also, the shock of the crash itself may have made him re-think his life and who/what he wants in it. Sadly, this is something you have control over. By all means tell him how you feel but I would get out there and concentrate on enjoying YOUR life.
A
female
reader, dazedinlove +, writes (24 June 2008):
There is nothing that you can do to change his mind. You should really focus on yourself and most importantly your career. If someone truly loves you there is no need for you to demand that they be there. Give it time, trust me it heals everything and when you least expect it you'll find the right one.
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A
female
reader, dazedinlove +, writes (24 June 2008):
There is nothing that you can do to change his mind. You should really focus on yourself and most importantly your career. If someone truly loves you there is no need for you to demand that they be there. Give it time, trust me it heals everything and when you least expect it you'll find the right one.
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Why do you want this man? He sounds like he has been horrid to you.
Ask yourself if you want him because you really love him or is it that you think you love him and with so much time and effort put into a realtionship you don't want to give up? You stated in your post that you don't give up easily ..... is this one of those times??.
I don't mean to sound harsh or nasty but he really sounds like a selfish terrible man. I would think your better off without him. find someone who will support you and love you. Not someone who will be so self centered.
If you really love him and you want him back then sit himm down and just remind him of how you stood by him. Maybe that will do the trick?
Good luck
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