A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated for two years when he was an international student at my school. When he returend to his country after graduation (he is two years older), he tried to maintain a LDR but it was too difficult due to conflicting schedules and poor communication. It's been a year since and I've always missed him, although we are good friends now.Last month, he told me that he is coming back to visit this summer. He told me he missed me and wanted to work things out with me. My heart was overjoyed and it felt like a dream come true.However, I have a boyfriend and we have dated for about four months. He is a wonderful man who truly cares for me, and I care about him too. However, I love my ex and I want to be with the person I truly love. After pondering, I was finally going to tell my bf the truth--that I still have feelings for my ex and I want to give those feelings a chance. However, on that very day, my bf told me he was diagnosed with cancer. I could not believe it. He had been feeling sick for awhile, and I encouraged him to see a doctor. Low and behold... The worst news. He told me that he was scared and he planted himself in my arms. It broke my heart. Of course, there was no way I was going to tell him the news that day. That was yesterday, and I still don't know what to do. I don't know if there's a "right" thing to do in this situation, and I'm so nervous. I can't imagine hurting him so much, but I also can't imagine staying by his side and watching my true love (ex) leave my life forever. My bf and I are in a campus club together so we have many mutual friends. My ex and I were also in a (different) campus organization together so we have many mutual friends. I feel like I have so many people who will watch and severely judge my decision, and my actions afterward. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): You said FOR THE SUMMER. That means he'll be gone again and youll just have the same problems likely to break up again. Maybe you should think about moving on from him and giving your boyfriend a chance in a time of need. If you do leave your bf though id keep in touch with him and be supportive cause thats really tough to be told you have cancer, im sure your "true lover" could understand that.
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