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I want to travel, he wants to save for a house, shouldn't there be a middle ground?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My bf is hellbent on buying a home before he turns 45 next year. Of course as his girl I am being sensible and saving with him, but we never DO anything. In 5 years we have been on 3 holidays, each one less than a week long and 2 of the 3 were national. I become very angry when I see my friends going away for 3 day long weekends and him constantly telling me we can't afford it when we have thousands of dollars saved. Am I asking too much in wanting him to sacrifice and compromise a little??? I am 27 and I want to live! I have been saving since we started dating (I was 21, nearly 22) while watching all my friends travel and enjoy their youth.He also got to live his 20's the way he wanted, buying expensive motorbikes etc which makes me feel jealous and angry with him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

Whilst I personally have no issues with relationships with an age difference it only works when both want the same things and I get the feeling you are at different 'places' at the moment. Having been way too sensible myself saving saving saving plus a mortgage from the age of 21 I can honestly say it was torture to see other people travelling, having fun and being carefree. There is a time to start getting serious and saving and if you are wanting to settle down and make a commitment then that is ok. However don't throw away your sense of fun and adventure in your 20's or early 30's - because you will resent him and it for a long time otherwise. I am 37 now and regret not living a different life in my 20s and early 30s. I urge you to project your life ahead by 10 years - what does it look like in your mind? Are you satisfied with what you have achieved or, if you carry on as you are, are you sitting in a nice house somewhere reading a magazine and wondering what you did with the last 10 years?

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