A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I am living abroad right now and have known a girl for about 9 months. When I first met her, I actually didn't know if I liked her or not, although I found myself being extra nice to her. But since I haven't had a girlfriend for a while, maybe I just didn't realize it that easily.About 6 months ago she got a boyfriend. I just started hanging out with her maybe a month before she got her boyfriend as just friends. There were some points that I thought maybe she liked me, but that is where it gets complicated. A good friend of mine also liked her so I didn't go after her. Obviously we both failed because now she is with someone else.But the more I see her, and the more I get to know her, the more I fall for her. Right now she is in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend, and in a couple months she is actually going to go abroad and study at my university.I really like her so I don't want her to break up with her boyfriend if she doesn't want to. I don't really know how she feels about me. Lately I have noticed I have tried to distance myself from her a little, and maybe she has done the same to me. My reasoning is I am afraid telling her how I feel will ruin the friendship. Her reasoning, I am not sure. But the thing is, I want to tell her I like her. I also don't want to loose our friendship. Should I tell her I like her? How should I tell her? I need some advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MsAlice +, writes (1 July 2008):
First of all, I'm sorry you're in this situation - living with someone you can't necessarily have is really, really tough! Distancing yourself may not be the worst idea, especially considering her relationship situation. When she goes abroad, will you both be at the university at the same time? That may be the best time to feel out her emotions. Even if you guys do hook up while abroad, you should keep in mind that an affair in another country is one thing, but she may not want to break up with her boyfriend back home. Good communication is key.
If she doesn't return your feelings, you've just got a classic case of unrequited love. Here's how to deal with it:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2054274_deal-unrequited-love.html
May you have luck in love!
- MsAlice
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): I think you have to ask yourself if the feelings you have are strong enough. Of course men and women can be best friends but only when both of them know exactly where each other stands. If she only wants to be friends and you dont then it's not a fair friendship. Soon she will be at your Uni so there should be plenty of opportunity to tell her then. I think that we know when someone is interested in us but usually think that they couldn't possibly be for various reasons ie too good for us, but when you are with her you should feel the vibe that she is interested and see's you more than a friend - if she does. You dont know unless you take a chance and although it is very scary to do so , it's better than wondering what if..... GOOD LUCK X
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A
female
reader, soulcal  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 hiya
i would tell her how you feel but say if you dont feel the same way i still dont want to loose our friendship and i dont want you to ruin your relationship with your current boy friend
i hope this helps xx
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