A
female
age
26-29,
*ridagreek
writes:I met my online bf a month ago, (he's 15 and I'm 14), I love him a lot except there is one well two huge problems, 1.My parents don't want me talking to people I don't know online and 2. My parents are extremly racist and my bf is black. He wants to meet up over winter break, which I'm fine with ( and yes I know meet in a public place with lots of people, have a cell phone and all that) the only thing is my parents are helicopter parents and want every detail, who what when where and why. I hate lieing to my parents, and I think my bf is getting upset that I haven't told my parents about him. Any ideas of how to tell my parents and what to do if they say no? Thanks, tri. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): You referred to this guy you chatted with as your "bf". Interesting. if you chose to meet this stranger, go to a busy location and bring a few of yoru friends.
If your parents are bigots then provided he really is 15 you'll need to do this discreetly. Maybe after you know him a week or so, he won't be the guy you expected. Why not wait until you actually spend some real time together to decide and not woory before hand?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): First off you do not need to meet anybody online it is not safe. Second your parents have every right to worry about you and ask every question possible, but they do not have the right to be racist. You should really talk to them before you even bring up the fact that you have been talking to someone online, you need to find out exactly where they stand on the race thing. I am afraid that if you want to maintain a civil relationship with your parents you may not be able to see this guy, remember they will always be your parents and this guy may only be around for a short time. Then again he may be the love of your life I don't know. You are still young and there will be so much more time to find a boyfriend I would suggest to keep the peace just talk to him online. I remember what it was like to be a teenager and I wish now that I would have never had any boyfriends until after I graduated high school, life would have been so much easier and no added heartbreak. This is a very difficult situation that you have to approach very delicately. I hope your parents can get an open mind about it for your happiness. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 October 2009):
I'm afraid it's going to be difficult, so you just haveto come out and say it. If they play the racist card, just tell them you're not like that. If they say you can't meet him, you're going to be in the position where you either have to lie to see him, or just not see him. You need to make it clear to your parents that you are your own person and will not be bullied or dragged into the racist ways. Very difficult, I know. But it is your life. Lots of luck.
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