A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hey my boyfriend broke up with me because we are going around in circles and he feels the love gone and he says we never get back together so no point talking about it. but hes the one for me he was always the one for me but i guess i never really showed it cos i was afraid i would get burnet. so i want to ask him to marry me hoping that will show that i do love and i do mean it is asking him tho uncommen or nuts. i just cant let him go he means everything to me and witout him i feel my world doesn't make sense. or is thier away i can rekindle our love. addtional information we have been going out years in a long distace relationship
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 Caring Guy is quite right. Your former boyfriend was the one to end it.
Therefore, if you were to now ask him to marry you (yikes!!!) he will be very surprised and you will seem desperate. The time for showing "he was the one for you" and dropping your fears about getting burned, is long gone.
I really hope you can let this idea go into past history - which is where it belongs - and when you've had time to grieve a while, and reflect on what went wrong in your relationship, maybe you will eventually meet a man who lives closer to you, and with whom the two of you can make a life........I don't think its the LDR per se: I know people who have been (including two older people who were both widowed) who met on e-harmony, and were in an LDR for more than a year. But they were clear they wanted to be together, and she eventually packed up and moved from the South to the West Coast where they were married several years ago and are very happy.
LDRs can be challlenging: but you both have to know your own minds and what you both want to have happen.......
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 I think Caring Guy is right. Don't ask him just yet. A marriage proposal should not be done out of desperation, but out of happiness.
I know how you feel, and it is hard to move on. But don't determine the course of your life out of desperation. A few years from now, how will you think? Cool down and try to think clear. Be at peace before you decide upon something so important. The decision to propose should not be made when you are desperate to make him stay. It should be made when you are confident he will always stay. And when you know you are happy in all aspects.
I wish you the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 June 2010):
No way. Slow right down. You're not reading the signs here. He broke up with you and has given his reasons. Asking him to marry you is a major mistake, because he will say no. It's not a matter that he might, the fact is he will say no. This has been a long distance relationship and like many LDR's, it hasn't worked out because the distance has made it hard for you both to connect. This is something that needed to be talked about and sorted a long time ago. It's just too late, and you're setting yourself up for major heartache. Don't do it, turn around and focus on your own life. It might not make sense now, but it will do in time.
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