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I want to leave with my daughter and move on with my life. Am I wrong for wanting to be happy?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *NSURE31 writes:

I am 22 years old. I have been married to my husband for a little over 3 years. We have a 2 year old daughter together and he has 3 children from a previous marriage. In the beginning of my marriage my husband was great, we did everything together. The past to years our marriage has fallen apart. Before we started dating he was in a FWB relationship for about a year. He thought that it would be ok to continue talking to her after we got together. Is that right? I dont think so!!

When I was pregnant I found out two weeks before I went to the hospital to have my daughter, that he did infact cheat during our first separation. After a few months I was miserable and so unhappy. I decided to look to another man for what I was missing at home. My husband was really mad and we separated for a third time. Basically it was the same thing over and over. finally we tried marriage counseling. I found more evidence that he was cheating AGAIN!!

We have already separated 6 times and the last time we separated I had what I thought would just be a one time fling, but turned into much more. He makes me so happy and understands me. Now I want to leave with my daughter and move on with my life. Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? I know it is going to be hard for his kids because this will be the second time being apart of a broken home. I have tried every excuse on the planet to stay here, but if your with someone should you have to make up reasons and excuses to stay? I need some advice on this!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010):

Be civil for the kids sake. But be honest.

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A female reader, UNSURE31 United States +, writes (15 December 2010):

UNSURE31 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

UNSURE31 agony auntOk now that my husband knows that I am definetly moving on and kind of know about this other guy, he is literally begging me to stay. He is promising that things will be different and he will do anything to be with me, but all of our other 6 separations he said the same thing I know what I want but should I let him down easy or just be harsh so he will get the point? Oh and the other guy still has been great!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

coming from a broken home is better for the kids than being in a continually toxic environment.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (10 December 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntBy all means take your daughter and go. His kids are probably used to coming from a broken home, but that's daddy's fault. Marriage counseling is your last life line, and if that didn't work I would consider drawing up divorce papers. Pack you and your daughter's bags and leave.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2010):

Sounds like the marriage has had lot of hard time and is not healthy. If it were me I think id leave. Its better to be from a broken home than to from a home where everyone is unhappy. Sometimes it better for the kids for the parents to seporate. But please go through with a divorce.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010):

well I'm not sure if it's a good idea to get together with this new guy since you are in a vulnerable position he may seem a lot better than he really is once in a real relationship.

But I think it is the absolute right thing to leave your husband regardless. You've separated 6 times - that says something!!!Like you said if youre with someone and you have to make up every excuse on the planet to stay with them, it means you really shouldn't be together. you've both cheated on each other - him starting it. I really don't see a future in your current marriage.

I think it will be harder for the kids to keep on seeing you guys separating then getting back together it will confuse them and is yanking them around. Better to make the separation final and divorce permanently.

good luck!

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A male reader, ljhenhmla United States +, writes (9 December 2010):

It might be best to leave but remember that all new relationshps are great at the begining just take ur time to be happy with ur hids. Good luck

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