A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy in April. What I thought was a one night stand, turned out to be something more. You ever have those one night things where you're happy to get out of their sight. You know it was a mistake and you regret the hell out of it. Well, it wasn't like that with him. I woke up and I was happy. We were both laughing but I was still scared. I'm not used to good guys. He asked me for my number, and texted all day. After work, he picked me up and we hung out again that night. This continued for a while until I left for the summer. Even then, we kept in touch. We both dated other people, but at the end of summer, we spent my first night back together. So we just kept hanging out for a while, until almost two weeks ago. At that time, he would pick me up after work. I'm a student, and only work part-time, he has the car, so things usually work out according to his schedule. I know, I know, big red flag because he's more in contol of the relationship. So he picked me up, and I went to his place. That afternoon he was taking me home before work, and nothing was out of the ordinary. We were actually talking about our weekend, and him possibly meeting my friends. Fast forward to that weekend, and I shot him a text to see what he was doing. He was just getting off work and going home. So i left him alone. I tried to get a hold of him that night, thinking we could just spend the night at his place. No response. Went out with friends instead, and tried calling him after. He's normally pretty good about picking me up after I go out with the girls. But still no response. Like I said, I'm not used to good guys. I've been hurt a lot in the past and I have a low tolerance for pain. It hurt me that he didn't talk to me. So i kinda overreacted in my inebriated state and deleted his number. Not that it would help because I know it by heart. And I haven't heard from him since. I held out hope that he would contact me randomly. I keep hoping he'll suddenly miss me and will call me and tell me he's so sorry. I just don't understand. I tried to replay everything. Nothing I did seemed out of the ordinary. He was a little quiet on that last ride to my place. Too quiet. Anyway I've been having it pretty rough. I put all my eggs in one basket, and I had so much faith in him. How can you go from talking to someone, even if its just a stupid text, everyday, to nothing? How can he hold me all night and then wake me up a stupid kiss, and now I'm nothing to him. He used to joke that I was the future mother of his children. He used to look at me with such awe. He still did, even the last night we were together. He was getting very close to me. I was getting very close to him. I thought we were going to get serious, especially since I was going to intro him to my friends. Its not too soon at all, since we met in April. I gave him everything he wanted. I just don't know why he would just drop me so suddenly. Last night, my friends made me go to the bar that he manages part time. I'm not sure if I saw him, but it still nerve-racking. you ever want to see someone so bad, yet you can't stand to see them? I want to know what went wrong, but I don't want to be vulnerable and put myself out there and ask him. I'm trying so hard to be tough. I've been getting hit on and asked out like crazy since we ended, but I still only want him. What should I do? SHould I ask him whats up? Do you think there is ever a chance we could make it work? Should I ask him if it can work?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (2 November 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps when he mentioned that he wanted to meet your friends, and then you sent him a text message on that weekend, asking him what he was doing - is what spoiled things.
It all went bad after that, didn't it?
It probably might have been better for you NOT to make contact with him. And instead, let him call you.
So it might have made you appear to be needy and desperate.
Just the same, all might not be lost.
It would be best if you DO NOT text him anymore. Don't call him either. You will need to wait and be patient, and see if he does eventually get back in touch with you again.
He might call you, or he might not.
No matter what happens, you can't force him to get back in touch with you. Because if you do persist in chasing him, he might withdraw from you even further. And that's not what you want.
At the moment, there is nothing else you can really do.
He's more likely to miss you if you make NO contact with him at all - and give him some space.
It might be a couple of weeks, or even up to a month or two. However, he does need some space.
Then see what happens after that.
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