A
female
age
30-35,
*avary
writes:Im about to be a senior in highschool. My mother who is 42 just ended her 20 year marriage with my dad. Im worried for her. My dream was to always go to college in newyork and study abroad i have eerything figured out. i have the grades that ive worked hard for ect. But now im scared to leave my mom by herself. I feel bad for her. but i feel like its not fair i can live my dreams cause of this. Iwant to help my mom find a husband. Where or how do women in her early fourties meet men? I dont want to take her to a bar cause my experience with that its not a good place to look for a husband. She needs a respectable, well off [financially man] help? advice? ANYONE?@!?!?!?!?
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Men who are well off financially are usually so busy maintaining their status they have little or no time for relationships.
A man is not necessarily the answer to your problems. Have you thought about encouraging her to make new friends and make the most of her new found freedom with hobbies or even starting her own business?
I know you want her to be happy but there's more than one way to achieve it. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): It's very sweet that you want to help out your mom like this. But she needs time to deal with her emotions before she starts dating again, let alone gets remarried.
Try to remember, too, that a parents' job is to raise kids to be independent adults. She knows that it's time for you to go away to school--she's been expecting this day for years. So try not to feel guilty about leaving your mom alone--she won't want you to sacrifice your plans for her.
Like boo22 said, your mom will meet someone when the time is right.
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A
female
reader, Favary +, writes (28 July 2010):
Favary is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo not at all thats not what i meant! I NEEED my mom to find a husband so i can go away to college and feel guilt free about leaving here alone!!! I already have a scholarship in the bag.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Let me get this straight, you want to find her a man so that he can fund your dream education? That's not how it works. Mom and Dad pay for college to the best of their ability. YOU may have to get a job and work during school and if your grades are good enough get some scholarships.
The new guy gets your Mom and contributes to THEIR (that means his and her) relationship and doesn't pay for her ADULT son's stuff. She will NOT be expected to pay for his kids stuff, so it's far.
You need to rethink this idea of entitlement, and get over your misplaced belief that you have this gift coming. Sorry, not happening, and you need to look to dear old DAD and see what he can do relative to your education.
Life is hard enough without going through it looking for others to pay your way... you're an adult, start taking some responsibility for your own life. There are plenty of ways to work your way abroad, other than Mommy paying for it.
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (25 July 2010):
Hi hun, it's not your job to find a man for your mum. It's not like finding her a new computer or car. Nobody can do this, you just have to wait and see what comes along for her.
Your mum is the same age as me and someone will come along when the time is right, you can't force it and make it happen so just relax. x
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