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I want to come out to the oldies...

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Question - (7 July 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2005)
A male , anonymous writes:

What is the least shocking way to tell your parents that you're gay?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2005):

I don't think that there is any good way to tell your parents that your gay. But while doing it, you should remember that they are your parents and will always love you even if you do make a startling confession like that. Sure they might be mad at first but as time passes, they'll get over it and accept you for who you really are:their son

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (7 July 2005):

Wendyg agony auntI dont ever think there is a good way... but i suspect as most parents do, they have an incling. Just sit them down, over dinner or something like that and tell them that you love them and that you have something to tell them that they may or may not approve of. They will maybe be shocked at first, but in time calm down and respect you for telling them first. Let them know that this is the real you and you dont want to hide anything from them and you still wnat them to be there for you and to understand that changes in your life.

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (7 July 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntI don't suppose this falls into the category of Gentle Ways to Break the News, but a good friend of mine came out by dancing in the Gay Mardi Gras, holding a banner that said, "Mum, Dad... I have something to tell you."

More seriously though, try to tell the parent that you think will be most accepting first. That parent can then be in your corner when you speak to the other parent. If you have a family member who already knows (a sibling? cousin?) and who will sit with you, it can be good moral support, I'm told.

I wouldn't beat around the bush too much, either, since that just makes it seem like "bad" news. It's probably best to just say something along the lines of "There isn't an easy way to tell you I'm gay, but I am".

Remember that you're only a) telling them something about yourself that you don't have a great deal of choice in and b) telling them something they probably suspect anyway.

Your folks do love you, so even if the news takes some getting used to, they'll come around eventually. Just be honest and give them a chance.

Be brave and good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2005):

I dont think theres a less shocking way to tell your parents you are gay. But, choose a time to tell them to where you can have there undivided attention and I suggest a private, quiet & serious setting. I dont know how your parents are, but with something like that there going to need time to understand and come to terms w/ what your about to tell them.

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