A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone ...i am 21 and my girlfriend is 18 ....we are having an affair since one year but due to some reason i have decided to dump her ...she has been a very responsible and caring girlfriend and i am really very lucky to have a person like her in my life ....well dumping her wont be so easy for me either ...its heart wrenching for me but i have thought upon it and have a reason. basically i am very emotional but i have somehow made up my mind for her and for everyone's good! i care for her equally and want her to be always happy and get over the post breakup emotional state as fast as possible ....but, probably this isnt so easy ...it would be horrible for both of us considering our addiction and wanting each other badly state....she has never had any boyfriend and her life revolves completely around me. she is not so outgoing and she doesnt have many friends ...she will get devastated!! we talk on phone every one hour and its not possible to stay away as far as i feel... i dont have guts either to tell her the bitter truth as i care for her a lot.....i am worried about her and dont want my sweet heart who has loved me so much suffer like this !! it pinches me inside and reminds me that she doesnot deserve all this and i am going to kill her heart !people tell me that i should tell her this soon or else the damage will be bigger..but how are we gonna cope up i dont understand ???? we are so badly addicted that it seems impossible to not think about each other at all...specially for her !
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): hmmm
difficult - not sure of why you want to split up - i don't think you have good reason - except the feeling isn't right for you or you want to shag someone else.
you are right it will get worse - if you stay with her you will be married with no love.
i think you have to respect her and be honest. go and sit with her talk to her and tell her the truth - tell her why. she will need to know why.
it will break her heart into a million pieces - there is no shortcut and it will hurt.
But it needs to be done if thats how you feel.
if you dont then you are evil. you are stringing someone along for no reason - someone who could love someone else and be loved back. i dont think you are evil, so please find the courage.
- if it helps - splitting up with someone that cared for me is the hardest thing i have every done - there is no easy way - But there are better ways.
talk to her and explain.
Hug Star.x,
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