A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to ask per se. im 25, i have no job, and no friends. my boyfriend barely notices me when he is around. what friends i do have are either wrapped up in their boyfriends, they have parents who pay their way, so they can afford to go out w/o a job. im not mad, it just sucks, because when they do make plans with me (and dont forget them- or to call and cancel) they want to go places that i cannot afford. it sucks, those moments are few and far between when i get an invite. the thing is noone knows that im feeling really like theres no point anymore. i always make them laugh, i listen when they need. i forgive all their mistakes, or when they forget to call to cancel on me. i feel so much like im just their filler for the boring parts of their lives, or when they need to feel heard. im going crazy. i keep trying therapy, i try being social. i push miself sometimes to get out of the house. but im so alone. everything hurts. i dont think i know what to do. how can i change mi life? where do yoo meet people who really care?i have no skills, i havent held a steady job in years, i cant afford school. my home life is temporary. i cant commit suicide, because my younger brother did and it crushed my little sister and i cant let her down. im just soo tired though. i hate waking up, theres no reason too. i just want to be someone worth loving.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): I know what you mean i feel the same way to, but you have to look at life from aonther view. Maybe right now its not what you want it to be but just give it some time then maybe you'll see. No one in the world is alone and sad doesnt matter who you are atleast you still have your mom and dad thats the best by far. If you keep feeling this way just talk to someone whos been through what you have I know you'll find some one that has. Dont put yourself down or put yourself out just look at things that you have now and not the ones that are out.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): can i ask what makes you feel like your unworthy of life in the first place? and I'm not talking about the
no friends, no job. there has to be something else thats making you feel this way. i realize that it seems
unfair that people forget about you or expect you to listen to them when they need help, all the while failing
to take in to account that maybe you need help with your problems too. Trust me i know what your going through
or at least can sympathize. I'm 22; no job, no friends, not in school, a hermit(my own doing), family trying to
be a family since my older brother died. I'm the oldest now and I'm suppose to lead by example, i can't say that
I'm doing a very good job, but i do have goals, plans, something that pushes me to wake up and try and be happy. Not just for my younger siblings but for myself because i want to live, not just to live but to actually move around and achieve something. the best advice i can think of is think what you want in life and try, and you do want to live because you wouldn't be putting so much effort in trying to meet people, caring for you sibling,going out writing on here for example. its obvious that you want to live, just continue to push through and TRY. Try new things that you've wanted to do, i agree with
"windupbird" in that sense; read, try things that help you concentrate with what you want in life, surround yourself
with positives, if that includes new friends do it. because anything that's blocking you from moving forward isn't
helping. stay strong and have faith in yourself.
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A
male
reader, WindupBird +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Hi...I'm sorry to hear how unhappy you are...I'm 25 and American as well and know that this period of life is extremely difficult. You have no stability, you are expected to act like an adult but the adults and others that you work with treat you like a kid. Living circumstances are often poor (I live in a tiny appartment with 5 others) and our jobs are frequently boring/degrading.
All I can offer by way of advice are the things I do the help give me meaning.
Essentially to combat hopelessness I try to develop myself as an individual...exploring intellectual possibilities that may not provide hope per se, but make me feel as if I'm progressing toward something...at least expanding my worldview.
I start by reading a lot...and not just escapist tripe but real, solid literary fiction (I'm sorry if that just sounded elitist). While you may not find any answers in novels, at least you can feel like things are happening in your brain which have more gravitas than your boss telling you to complete some mundane task.
I also taught myself to play guitar, which helps to give me a goal seperate from work/career/girlfriend/life etc. I have a certain passage I want to learn, I set out to do so and even if I don't accomplish my goal at least the task was undertaken only because I wanted to.
In one final example I've started to appreciate classical music, which is not only relaxing, but stimulating after a boring day at work.
The examples above might not be for you, but I think any task you undertake that makes you feel like you're growing as a person will give you some sense of meaning.
Another approach is to do something to change your surroundings entirely. If you're American you could join AmeriCorps, live in an entirely different city than you are in now for a year and help some kids in need. If you are a college graduate you could join Peace Corps and live overseas for a time (one of the most rewarding things I've ever done).
I hope this helped...good luck to you. Things will become clearer for you as time progresses.
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