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I want some love and don't know how to get a boyfriend

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay so I'm a junior in high school, and I have NEVER had a boyfriend. A few guys have tried to approach me but I turn them down because they're man whores and just want to have sex. I hate seeing my friends with their boyfriend all lubby dubby etc. I want to experience all that cute stuff to lol I've been single my whole life and its so boring now, I want some love!! People always tell me I'm really pretty etc and they get shocked everytime I say I've never had a boyfriend. I need help asap!! I want a boyfriend so bad already! Tell me what to do because I'm becoming desperate ;p

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2013):

I didn't have my first BF till I was 21…I'm 23 now…I know it seems like a big deal to you now, but in the future you will probably look back at your high school days and be 100% okay with the fact that you didn't have a boyfriend.

I'm actually glad I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, because I got to do everything else…good grades, theater, sports, good friends, got into college, etc etc.

Trust me, one day you will have a boyfriend! you won't be single forever!! i know sometimes it feels like you will…but when you are older you will probably be able to have a much more mature relationship that one you would have at 16, anyway. try not to worry about it so much :)

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (13 December 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntDear desperate,

I want to answer this in the most kind way and it is difficult. After several false starts I want to start out by saying that you are not alone there are many girls your age with similar experience. Nor is this your fault completely. There are many factors.

First guys these days are slow to show interest, slower to commit and almost never date. They tend to be more selfish with money. You are looking for the kind of guy who doesn't just approach a girl he doesn't know well. Because of that a guy who is interested in you may not be on your radar, you may not see his interest. You may be the victim of rumor. Man whores (terrible name even for a guy) can be malicious after being turned down. Some will even assume that if you aren't interested in them then you must not be interested in any guy, and will be open to sharing that opinion.

My strong suggestion from an adult much older than you is that at your age you make a lot of friends. Don't try to jump from nothing to committed boyfriend. Start with flirty friends with the possibility of romance. You really are too young and inexperienced to be exclusive. Much of what you are expressing a desire for you can get with flirty friends, and group dates. Now how to get from where you are to that stage. Be generous with your smiles. Make eye contact when you talk to people. Use peoples names when you talk to them. Be interested in their hobbies and interests and sports. Learn about them so you will have more to talk about. You may already be doing some or all of this. There may be some people who you have ruled out already not because of bad or dangerous habits (guys who are after sex, drug users -, etc)but for other reasons, ( they are shy, don't dress well, don't have a lot of money, are nerds, don't have the right friends) I would suggest that yo be open to them as well. It will make you more approachable and give you more opportunities for success.

FA

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