A
female
age
30-35,
*iki20
writes:how do i become friends with my sister again? She doesn't come around much since i had my son. She loves him to death and is his godmother. She is turning 19 years old and we have always been close. Now that im married and she doesn't really like my husband she wont hang out w/ me that much. They get along and i know she has a problem with him bc my husband and i have had our share of fights but we always make up. I just want my best friend back. how can i connect with her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Phone her up and tell her you really miss her. And you would love to meet for lunch with her. That's a start. Do not take your child along. Get a babysitter, or leave your son with your husband.
And when you spend this special time with her, do not talk about any family/husband problems you may have. Focus your attention on her. Ask her how life is going for her. Stay positive, happy and just laugh it up. And do not, I repeat..do not talk of any of your personal relationship problems with her.
If you and your husband have had problems in the past and you have told her...she was likely feeling deep concern and pain for you. Be a mature adult, and do not talk of anything negative nor confide these troubles in her. We can use a relationship therapist to be our sounding board or a more neutral friend, when we need to speak of such things. Being your sister, she's very emotionally close to you amd it sounds like she may have a hard time hearing that stuff. Some people who love us...do react this way.
Ease back into this slowly and give her some of 'your' time without your child and husband. Maybe agree to meet her every other week for a sister lunch date or go shopping together...but it's plain to see you really miss her. You both are sisters and you need to reconnect, as soon as you can.
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