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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hey there DearCupid Fans. Im 15, and the girl I'd like to go out with is 14-15. She's in the year below and lives down the end of my street, thing is she goes to a different and rougher school, and hangs about with rougher people and people who have had a problem with me in the past. (chavs). I'd really like to get to know her and was thinking of asking her out next time I saw her, but I've always been rejected of people before and i can't be bothered to do that again, or for her mates and her to laugh at me and stuff or set me up on a false date. What should I do? How do I improve confidence?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): I have to ask, why would you consider a girl who even hangs around with a 'bad crowd', that you have had negative dealings with, in your past. This girl has made the clearcut, conscious choice to be 'friends' with these people. This doesn't make sense. Use your head, dear. That is a neon red flag and I think you should just stay from all that. The only way to build and retain self-confidence is to have enough smarts, values and self-respect to know, who is and is not good for you to hang with. I think it's time for you to focus some attentions on girls, who are nice, who have self-worth, who treat others with dignity and respect. They are out there, open your eyes and look real hard around you and choose wisely, dear. look to building close friendships with some nice girls, first. Let them get to know you for all you nice personality traits. Take it slow and be patient. You'll never, ever regret doing that. good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): so how does rejection is just affection undercover mean that being rejected means that they dont like you at all? It cancels each statement out doesnt it?
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 I would really like to tell you to steer clear of her, you are opening yourself up to all the things you mentioned but I guess that is not what you want to hear so:-
Ask her for a date, take her somewhere that her mates are not likely to follow her to. or tell her you are going into town on Saturday shopping and wondered if she would like to meet for a burger or coffee.
Keep it as casual as you can.
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A
female
reader, Agony AUnt Hannah +, writes (8 March 2006):
 casually bump into her and ask her if she is ok and if she is having a nice day! Talk to her little by little every day and you will soon have the confidence to ask her out! Remember: REJECTION IS JUST AFFECTION UNDERCOVER!Meaning that being rejected means that they dont like you at all!! Good Luck!
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