A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about 14 months. Recently, he decided that he needed to break up with me to date other people. I'm sad that this has to happen but I do agree that he needs to go out there and date (as much as it would hurt me to know that he will be dating a new girl, kissing her, holding her hand, etc. ugh!). He and I agreed to remain friends, seeing as I consider him to be my best friend. I am just having the hardest time trying to let go of him and imagine him dating other girls. He said we could end up getting back together again, which is what I'm hoping for. We agreed to still hang out and see each other like friends but we just can't be physical with one another. I want him to just find the girl already and not like her so he can come back to me. How do I deal with letting him go and how long should I wait before I move on? I really don't want to move on because for me, I think he is the one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Try to move on. He isn't ready for what you are looking for if he wants to date others. At least he has been honest with you and not cheated.
It isn't easy letting go of people. Sometimes it's harder when you are still in regular contact with them. You might want to give this some thought.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 April 2008):
Don't wait for him. How dare he tell you that he wants to go off and have some fun, but will come back to you if he can't find anything better?
Move on yourself. Stop spending so much time with him so you can get distance and let your feelings fade.
Go out with other guys.
Once he sees you are with someone else he may realise what he's lost, and come begging to get back to you. But that is what it should be, he has to respect you, not see you as a Plan B.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, binhquangdao +, writes (18 April 2008):
 if he is the one he will come back but you must never ever wait for him it's like he has you as his second chance DO you want to be his second chance if he fails it's like he's trying all the other fishes out there and if none of them excelled what you have or do physically,mentally ,sexuality or emotionally provide better for him then he would stay with them if they dont' he will come back to you would you want to be somebodys backup or somebody else main chosen one. IF he was the one he wouldn't feel this way and run around trying to chase other fishes you need to move on and being his friend is feeding his pride and ego you need to tell him that we can just be friends that's it no benefits.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Hi,
I think this is often the problem with people meeting their so called "Mr or Mrs Right" at a young age.
But the one thing you cannot do is put yourself on the shelf for this man. It is unfair on you for a start.
Also, you are assuming that the girl he meets will be someone not suitable for him. That's one hell of an assumption, he could quite easily fall for her and where are you then. A hanger on , who the new girlfriend will know in 5 seconds that you still hold a torch for your ex. She will want your friendship to end as quickly as possible.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is waiting around for him will only lead to a world of hurt. You need to live your life, so I'm afraid that means spending less time with your ex. By seeing him still you are only feeding the relationship beast, you need to break away and involve yourself in things outside of him. If he wants to come back to you he will be more inclined if you are not there as he will miss you, having you around all the time will be no different to having you as a girlfriend.
So be brave, and live your life, dont wait on him.
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A
female
reader, vsnod +, writes (18 April 2008):
 I think you should start seeing other people too. One of the two things will happen: #1: you find someone better. #2: he comes to the realization that you are not going to wait around for him to decide what he wants and you become more desirable to him. #1 is more likely to happen, and maybe you will stay friends with him.
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