A
female
age
30-35,
*loveyou
writes:I recently mentioned about not being able to stop thinking about my ex and was wondering what is the best way to try and get over him and move on with my life, without completely cutting him out of it because I still want him to be part of my life. I just really don't know what to think, I want him but I don't at the same time - I am clearly really confused!! Please help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): Wow! It's amazing how wonderful we can give each other advice but really actually never fully be able to accept what we must/should/could do.I've messed it up every way you can imagine. Seeing him..working next to aka office next each other. This I DO NOT recommend. I'm sorry if this is what you situation is.there is no answer unless you or him find someone else. seriously. Sex is too good. Seeing each other...same sex is too good.It takes a week for every 1 month you dated.I seriously suggest, if you are not crazy about your job. To move across county. Really, when else would you do it? Life over there is great. I know. I've lived on both. I love Oregon and DC!!!!! You will only know what is ahead of you if you take the step. i'm going through a break up myself.. 5 days ago. It was not my choice. I thought this was the one. I hit rock bottom with my self esteem. Wait it's 6 day later- sorry. I'm good/ok. We have one life. Not one person! You have to know that You are great..why because you are!!! Because you communicate and have friends and should be happy. The guy I dated was great. I have nothing bad to say. He was wonderful and nice. But just because I like and adminre and want him, doesn't mean he wants the same things. I shouldn't doubt myself because he choses to find someone else. Right? Yes! that is right. Take many deep breaths. Look in the mirror. Look at yourself. Realize that you good and bad are good and special. It hurts. I HURT. But i'll be okay. Someone will love me. I'm sorry if you feel i've turned this around to myself. But realizing what someone, so recently can feel about themselves.. can feel. I really hope you can do the same. Allow yourself the moments of weekness, but take strength from the too. Deep breaths. Acceptance. Love for yourself. Understanding. Not end of world. Just pain. repeat. Deep pain. But time...and deep breaths will allow healing and acceptance that someone else. is right.. but it takes us to accept pain, deep breathes, acceptance. You are good! Oh..one other thing I realize... Self Doubt is ugly to men.hope it helps.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 June 2007):
 If you bump into him play it by ear. Just say hi and see if he initiates a discussion and if he doesn't don't get upset, just walk away. It'll work out in time. It might not happen anyway. I broke up with a guy five years ago and he lives very close to me and I've seen him twice in all that time. Just stay calm and see how things go.
CD
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A
female
reader, mwest  +, writes (18 June 2007):
I think the best thing you need to do right now is just move on with your life and distance yourself from him. I'm actually going through the same thing right now. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago(his decision) but we have been still keeping in contact. It has been very hard for me as he still wants to remain friends but it is just too painful for me right now, so I had to break all contact with him until I have completely healed and moved on from him. Right now, focus on yourself and have fun with your family and friends. Once you do this, everything else will fall into place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): It would be healthier for you if you just did not expect him to be a part of your life, you keep hanging onto the past and that is why you can't get over him.
If you think it would help to see him one last time and ask him why he broke up with you, you could try that, ask him to list some things he did like about you. At your young age, boyfriends are not meant to be in your life forever, this is the time of your life where you should be figuring out you and what you like and what your goals are for your future outside of having a man in your life.
Chances are this young guy won't have an answer for you about your breakup, you may have to resign yourself to the fact that you will never know and move on....this is not the end of your romantic life, so get out there and live your own life.....this had nothing to do with you, you are still a very lovable, wonderful girl, and I am sure he knows that, he is a boy, not a man, and he has things to do that do not include you.
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A
female
reader, iloveyou +, writes (18 June 2007):
iloveyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks cd206, the break up was fairly mutual because it was a long distance relationship and we very rarely saw each other, we also broke up over msn as his phone was broken, and I have not seen him since. I think this has made it harder as I have not been able to say goodbye to him properly. And this was 6 months ago...! But we now only live about 10mins away from each other and I am likely to bump into him and am unsure how to react. x
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 June 2007):
Maybe it's a good idea to put some distance between you until you're over this guy. You don't talk about the circumstances of your break up, whether it was his decision, yours or mutual. If you know that he doesn't want you back and you know that you do want him back then you need to take some time to get over him. This isn't as easy as it sounds but you can do it with a bit of distance and time.
CD
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A
female
reader, fairhalflin  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 Well, I know from personal experience that having your ex in your life after all the things you two went through is extremely difficùlt. When they linger about...you tend not to move on & you suffer in the long rùn...you need to realize that everything is going to be okay without him. Life moves on & so do people.
As for getting over him, keep yourself bùsy. Focùs on your job (if you have one) call up some friends & gùssy up when you go out. Never look the part you feel...
Do the right thing, love
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