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I want a baby badly...but I'm too young. Do other girls experience this?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2006) 27 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2008)
A female , anonymous writes:

Ok well im 16 and have been getting some really weird feelings recently. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I have started getting real serious urges for a baby. Its not just a fad thing I have always wanted one to devote my life to. My boyfriends who has been the love of my life for 3 years now told me he isnt quite ready for one yet but he wants one eventualy when his job is better and he would stick by me. i know im too young right now for one but i just cant get the idea off my mind. how can i forget about it for a while? is it me or do many girls go through this kind of phase?

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008):

I know exactly what you feel like i have been with my partner for around a year and a half now i'm very mature for my age and i'm always yearning gfor a baby, however whenever me and my boyfriend talk about it we always come to the same solution wait get college out of the way....and its true every girl/woman has an instinct to want a child its natural but i have thought about it loads and even though i go through stages where its the only thing i can think about i always end up thinking its right to wait ! Live your life get your education then you will apprechiate a family even more when your older not thinking you have missed out on something that others have done.. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

well thats true because im 16 and have a baby boy but i was with my partner for 2 years. But before i had my baby we would go out to the cinema and do things like that butnow baby leo is here we cant do this because we have no money left and have to look oafter our baby. The baby wasnt planned and i dont regret having him but i wish i'd waited a while because having a baby is makin us get more far apart we cant go out with our mates because of leo and we argue bout money all the time. Live your life first go out enjoy bein a kid dont do what iv done and had a baby younge it puts a stop to ya life think about it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008):

I'm nineteen and Married and I have been wanting a baby SO badly lately its Killing me!!!!! I know I should wait because we are not Financially ready at this time, but its so hard!

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A female reader, kayandash08 United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2008):

i am 19 and have been with my boyfriend for two years. we have our own house and both have steady jobs. we have disscussed starting a family since christmas. but agreed that it is something we both want but wanted to get our own place that we were looking for, and make sure we wer both definatly ready finacialy and ourselves. I've had the baby bug for ages and now we have decided to start a famliy, because we are stable enough to give it the best start and life it needs. yes you are young and think it is something that would be wonderfull and exciting. because it is! but you need to consider things that a baby needs. like lots of time, money, care, and love. at such a young age i would wait till you have a job and a place of your own. and make sure it is what you want. there is no rush! there maybe only 3 years between us, but from being 16 yrs old i have been on holiday with my partner been out clubbing and had a good time. I have come to terms that all this will be more difficult but you need to enjoy that few more years of freedom. hope this helps! x

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A female reader, Baybegal Canada +, writes (6 July 2008):

I see this all the time and im not critisizing you for wanting a baby so young but DONT DO IT... seriously!! you need to think alot of things over... you need to set a good life for yourself before you try and create a whole new life like making sure you complete your schooling thats really important and having a stable job and home. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and am 19 and ive went through the baby phase to but I never acted on it because I know I had to set my life straight first . I think all us girls do it , it comes natural lol Im sure of it one of your friends have a baby or maybe even a couple and try to take one of there kids (babies) overnight believe me you will be happy to pass the baby back the next day and thats whats awesome about it you can give them back lol. defiantely research this ALOT beforing acting on it.

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A female reader, Baybegal Canada +, writes (6 July 2008):

I see this all the time and im not critisizing you for wanting a baby so young but DONT DO IT... seriously!! you need to think alot of things over... you need to set a good life for yourself before you try and create a whole new life like making sure you complete your schooling thats really important and having a stable job and home. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and am 19 and ive went through the baby phase to but I never acted on it because I know I had to set my life straight first . I think all us girls do it , it comes natural lol Im sure of it one of your friends have a baby or maybe even a couple and try to take one of there kids (babies) overnight believe me you will be happy to pass the baby back the next day and thats whats awesome about it you can give them back lol. defiantely research this ALOT beforing acting on it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008):

Hi there,

Im 19 years old now and i had my son at 17 years old. Let me tell you that having a baby at such a young age is the most challenging and hardest thing anyone could ever go through. im not saying i dont love my baby i wouldnt give him back for the world, but i do wish now that i would have waited. you are still so young and you still have a chance to have so much fun without having to worry about what will happen with you baby, like for instance you wont to go out clubbing but you cant because you have to stay home and watch your baby, you might want to do futher study at school but cant because you have a baby and yes i know there are ways around these thing but it just makes being young impossible, i almost feel like ive aged another 10 years i have to be responsible 24/7 i cant just be a teenager i go off whenever i like to hang out with mates or go shopping without having to have my baby with me, having a baby changes every little thing about your life and yes they are the most precious things in the world, but remember theres is absolutely no rush to have a baby you still have years and years ahead of you...and dont forget how hard it can be financially. HAVE FUN NOW :D pay later lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Yes, other girls do experience this. I'm 16 and I thought I was pregnant not too long ago and even tho I had wanted a baby when I thought I was actually going have one it scared the crap out of me. I told my boyfriend and he was really scared too but, I knew that if i was he would stand by me.

I'm not pregnant and I'm glad I'm not, although there is nothing more beautiful. I realized i'm too young right now. I think about Babies and getting married but I think most girls do that just what most of us want.

Even though I'm only 16 and my boyfriend is only 18 the fact that he has brought up marriage a couple times makes me feel secure. Even though you love your boyfriend and want to start a family doesn't mean you should. Its best to wait and make sure that your income is steady and you have a place to live. You have to be completely ready when that angel comes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Yes it's a phase and you will go through it several times in your life. A lot of times it comes when you're highly stressed, lonely, or generally irritable. I think a lot of it has to do with wanting someone who can relate to you. Someone you can talk to who won't talk back and the whole idea of producing someone innocent and pure. I believe you are too young and maybe another two to four years will be better for you. I'm only 20 and I really want a child but I'm in college so I'll have to wait until I have the financial stability. It's healthy to have a baby young but I'd say 16 is a little too young. I believe the best age for women in general is 18-26 and in the US it's considered 22-32 but only because of our prenatal care.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

Ive been with my bf for a year and abit, never once had an argument and always together. Im soo happy it just feels like having a baby would be perfect. But we're both still in college and too young. B ut its reassuring to hear other girls feel the same. xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):

i feel the same way. ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year. i dont neccesserally think that i want a baby with him. its just a baby. i think its because i sometimes get lonely at home on my own, i would so love a baby to care for. one of my own. but im just 16 and studying at college. soon ill be going to uni and i dont think my boyfriend would be too pleased if i told him i wanted a baby!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

I've having the same feelings. I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. he is 26 and just starting a business. we have talked about getting married and have agreed to wait for another two or three years so that the business can get set up and so that I'm a bit older. But i keep having maternal feelings! and it makes me sad to think that it will probably be at least four years before we can start to try and have a baby. but i also agree with lillaum - who wrote her answer on 20 aug 06 - that i want everything i can have for my baby first. i want to get a family house with a yard, a nursury and i want to be emotionally ready to deal with everything. I also want to be steady financially and a few more years with my bf wouldnt hurt. but knowing that your too young / not ready just doesnt make those feelings go away!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

hey im 16 as well i aint bin wiff my bf as long as yooh but i know how yooh feel ive wanted a baby really badly for about a year now and its all i think about...my mum doesnt agree wiff it but she said shel be thr and my bf is rele supportive..so your not th only 1, i no im too young to have a baby, but i think if its something you both really want you shud do it..i mean yooh only live once, im gettin my implant taken out in 12 weeks and then were trying for a baby, i just think if you know you can give that baby a good life and evrything it needs then go for it! good look wiff evrything tho hun x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008):

thank god someone is feeling the same way as me coz i thought it wasn't normal. ive been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months now and weve had some preggy scares but deep down i know i want a baby with him i know what your thinking ive only been with him for 4 months but so much has happened between us and i love him and he loves me and he talks about the future and stuff and says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me i really do think it will last with him he's 20 and im 16 so he'll probebly want to settle soon anyway hopefully im still there when he does and he says i'd be a great mum i was so chuft when he said that! graeme a luv u bby

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007):

Hey hon yes im 16 years old and also have the same feelings as you... But the only diff. is that my boyfriend also wants a baby...But weve been trying and trying but cant seem to get lucky.. I dont know what to do, but i totally know where you are coming from..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

Aw Honey ! I know exactly how you feel. I am seventeen and have been trying for a baby for almost a year now ! It is so heartbreaking to think that I may not be able to have kids. I feel so useless, like my time on this planet does not mean anything if I cannot create another life ! My advice to you is to pay attention to your studies just now. Also, you could spend time with friends, or go out on dates with your boyfriend or join the gym or something. I wish I had waited a few years before trying for a baby as I am not ready to deal with the fact that I may not be able to have one. It has affected my school work, my health, my social life, and my relationship with my boyfriend. Maybe if I was older, I would go to the doctors and get it checked out, but I feel as though I am too young to say that I have been trying for a baby. It is best that you wait until you are emotionally ready for everything that trying for a baby includes, including the fact that some people just cannot get pregnant /3 !

Please keep up-to-date posts, letting us know how you are doing, and if you do try for a baby !

Oh, quick question !

Does being underweight contribute to unsuccessful attempts when trying for a baby ?

Thanks A Lot

Louise x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007):

i am 18 years old, and really want a baby but my bf is really sensible and wants to wait a while, i no hes right but i cant help myself. so i no how u feel. wat have u done about it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007):

Im 19 and also have strong urges for a baby but im at uni am not in a steady relationship so i know its silly. i think its completely normal to feel broody, its instinct. Some peoples replys on here have annoyed me, telling you you're too young, im not doubting that you are too young, i am way to young for a baby, but youre not saying you want one now, just that you're body is telling you you want one. Christ the girl knows shes to young, shes just asking if its normal to feel this way! blimey.

Don't worry about it sweet, i feel the same! Also a note on boyfriends. I had a boyfriend when i was 16 to 18 and thought we'd last forever, but the truth is its rare this boy and you will be the same people 10 years from now, ive had a couple of relationships since him and although we're great friends my feelings i had for him once have gone. Oh and also for that person to say your boyfriend doesnt sound comitted to you is talking bulls***, hes just thinking logically like you are, doesnt mean he loves you any less! hope this helps xxxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007):

im 20 and i am experiencing this very same thing. My boyfriend is in a secure job and is 5 yrs older than me but im still at uni so i know i cant have a baby at this time. I remember when i was 16, and i know im not that old and wise now but i have grown up a lot in the past 4 yrs and you will too. at your age i broke up with the guy i thought i'd marry and i have had a couple boyfriends since. The truth is, things change and your feelings might too. you dont wanna be stuck in with a child at your age. Go college and maybe uni, HAVE FUN!!! But it is normal to be broody and want babies, but wait til time is right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007):

i know how you feel about having a baby but honey you are way too young.you are not too young to have a boyfriend,you're just too young to have a baby and on top of that,you're a baby yourself.lots of girls out there have been dying to have a baby but don't let that hold you back in life.can you really believe that you are getting advice from a 13 year old girl?you should not be thinking about that because once you have a child you'll probably get kicked out of your parent's house,you have to but baby clothes,food,pay rent,and you probably won't even be working or going to school because you have to stay at home and take care of the baby.don't let that get to you because you'll probably regret it later on in life.So for right now,just have fun,go to parties,go shopping,and hang out with your friends because the time for you to have children will come so just don't try to rush things too much.Enjoy being a teenager while you can and after you graduate high school,then you can think about having kids.GOOD LUCK.I WISH YOU THE BEST, SWEETHERAT.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):

Your sense of family (you may not have been raised with a good and strong family- divorce and fighting to abuse) and desire to become responsible and grow up fast so you can have control over your life...is what has you projecting so much hopes on the idea of being a Mother will solve all your problems and take away your hurt and anger.

It won't.

Wait.

Get counselling.

To have a baby in hopes that BF of three years; again..sex in your teens will skewer your sense of what is right and mess with the correct timetable of life, will keep you BF to you. It will, but not in the way you hope and want.

Trust in the wisdom of an adult, a parent, and one who has been there...

Wait until you are older. Wait until you are married.

BF does not sound committed and that is the real reason you want a Baby so you can KEEP him. By how he states his words...he hasn't come out and declared you to be his "ONE".

He isn't reliable. This won't solve anything. Having a baby now Miss I Want a Baby and Family now *stomp foot*.

Please be wise. Urges and desires are not meant to overrule wisdom and common sense.

Best Wishes Little One.

*hugs*

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A male reader, metalpat24 +, writes (2 January 2007):

metalpat24 agony auntdo wat the person below me said, go and help out a kid who dont have any1, babysit, practice 1st, your 16, my bestest (girl) friend was 12 wen she got pregnant she was raped but she took care of it shes now 21 the kid is 9, just help out then wen your out of school have a career then you can, a job isnt enuff to pay for 3 people

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 January 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntAll good advice so far, I'd just like to suggest you turn those maternal urges to good use, maybe volunteer as a big sister and mentor a young child or whatever programs you have where you are. Volunteer to babysit for some young mothers and give them a much needed break. Whatever you do, wait to have that baby.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):

i believe you shouldnt be even considering this at that age. You have to experience life first yourself. How would you teacha kid, when you havent experienced much yourself. Who would pay for it. dont you want to travel your own country and the world, have a rewarding career, youll probably go through 20 boyfriends before you meet one that would even slighty resemble a potential good parent. who wants to change shitty nappys all day. No im not a parent, if your wondering, thank god. im 24. every girl i went to school with already has a baby. none are very happy, get to have any fun, or can afford a baby.

i have a question for you. in australia, we have parking bays for mums with babys only. if you get busted without a baby, you can get fined. Why is a mum with a baby more important than all the other hard working members of the community. none mums should be rewarded for not overpopulating the planet (ok australia is a bad example of that) ok i admit youd make a dam site better mum then me (that wouldnt be hard) but youd make an even better one if you just leave it many many more years, and go out have an absolute blast and get lots of experiences under your belt.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006):

you are going through the phase. everyone goes through this. you are still young and you have your whole life ahead of you, you and your partner have been together for a long time, so like he said - when his job gets better he will eventually be ready to play happy family's. XxX good luck!

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (20 August 2006):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntThey most definitely do. I think it is in many womens genes to want babies, because that's what we're here to do, I guess!!! I went through the phase on and off for years too around your age and I didn't even have a boyfriend. Basically, you've just got to be sensible. It isn't right for you, you know that, so want one all you like, just in the future.

Things we want the most are rarely as good when they actually happen. I think having a baby so young is one of them, it all seems great when you see other people's babies but one of your own is very different. Concentrate on doing well in your life so you can offer a child a good life one day.

Women are more than baby making machines. We can do great things so don't waste your life, do something you're really proud of and something your child will be proud of one day too.

If you feel really maternal, get a puppy! Good luck

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A female reader, lillaum +, writes (20 August 2006):

lillaum agony aunthoney I am still inthat phase! I think that some women just develope there meternal instincts sooner than others. but most women I spoke to about my desire for a baby said that they started to feel like that when they had found a man that they thought would be a good dad. I guess it's different for different people.

I am 21 now and started to feel the way you describe you are feeling at the age od 14. I used to cry some times because the desire for a baby was so strong. I knew I was too young also. I still cry some times but I want my child to have all they need, which means I need a stable job, a suitable home, and so much more. I also think that just growing up and going threw life and all the ups and downs that go with it help to prepare for a baby too. I think I would also like to live my own life for awhile first too.

What helped me was to imagine what I really wanted. I pictured the scene in my head. There was a beautiful baby in my arms, I was sat on a comfy chair cuddled upto my husband. the house was so homely full to the brim with love. I saw toys and lots of new things for the baby. Then I thought when its only the baby I was missing to complete the scene in reality maybe then I should think about being a mother. Do you see what I am saying?

I will write more if you want me to. Take care,

Lillaum

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