A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf threatens to end the relationship if he doesn't get things his way. Im so down even on a friday night im too sad to want to go out anywhere because of all the things that are bad about myself I heard from him. We have been for 4 yrs togther, and it's been recent that he has been nasty to me. If i misbehave or say something wrong, or blurt something out like "i forgot it's friday night" he gets angry at me, claims to be sad and then starts saying that maybe he doesnt love me etc...and the next day he pretends as if nothing happened and expects me to be happy ..Im barely making it through the day, I cant sleep much now (while he sleeps well), i am losing my appetite, im not sociable as i used to be..while he is out enjoying himself. I used to be a very positive and optimistic person and now...What's wrong with me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): If you mis behave?!!!!!
You sound like you have been crushed. Your partner is trying to mould you into his perfect, obedient little girlfriend that does as she is told. Cant you see that this is a control issue?
You are within your rights to start running and never look back at him - Why do you except the thing that he says to you? Are you that needy? or has he convinced you that knowone else could ever want or love you?
By making comments about not knowing whether he loves you - to me he is clearly playing on your emotions.... if he loved you, he wouldn't use a comment like that as a weapon to get his own way.
I hope you are strong and I hope that you can see that you have been trodden into the ground and this is why you are so negative. I am a true believer that if you are told something enough you will begin to believe it yourself and that is exactly what has happened here.
The thing you need to know is that it not you that has changed - its you that has been changed. Please consider your own health and happiness. and also your sanity - please consider ending this relationship.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (12 October 2007):
Time to stand up for yourself and dump the boyfriend. Four years and no wedding, how much of your life do you plan to waste?
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (12 October 2007):
 It sounds very much like you may be suffering with depression, which is hardly surprising with the way he has been treating you.
That is no way for a relationship to be, you should not have to watch what you say for fear of how he is going to react and i bet that is exactly what it has come to.
My best advise for you would be to leave this man and very soon as it will only get worse and so will you, send him packing and then pay a visit to your doctor and tell them exactly how you are feeling right now.
Take care.xx.
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