A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m twenty and my current boyfriend is twenty-one. We are both full time college students with part time (12-15hrs) jobs. We live in the same dorm. We have been dating for almost six months with a weeklong break up during that time period. Because I don’t want to live in my current state when I graduate in two years and he does, we agreed that we didn’t want things to get too serious. We started dating right as school let out and throughout the summer (we both took summer courses) our relationship was amazing. It was the relationship where he would send my random sweet messages and randomly come visit me for a kiss goodnight. We would say cheesy things like I like you back and forth. At the end of the summer I gave him my virginity (I have always believed that you didn’t need to love someone to have sex with them as long as you trust them). Once school began we were happy like this till about two weeks into the year when I told him I was scared that although I wasn’t YET, I might be falling in love with him. Our relationship has not been the same sense. Were still together but he just isn’t as open, and if I say I like you now, he says “I’m sorry” instead of saying it back. And even though were both busy he never seems to have any time to be with me. It bothers me that the only thing wrong in our relationship is that things were going to good. I know that there’s not a question in all of this but I’m really confused. I would like some third party on my situation in order to help me sort this out. Thank you!Ps. please don’t say that he was only like that for sex. I know that’s not true.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 October 2011):
 The problem is that you sort of dropped the L-bomb on him. You might as well, have come right out and said. You're making this not so serious relationship into a serious one. When you're not serious about each other, you don't mention the "I love you".
I'm afraid you're going to have to figure out what you want to do with this relationship..it's not as serious (and won't be) as you want it to be. In addition, he can't seem to give you the serious relationship you want. It's best to break-up with him and seek a guy who won't choke when you say those 3 words.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): I think that you need to spend some time on your own to figure out what you want. Does the idea of being with some one whos only half way in make you feel unsettled? Would it be worth it to try and refresh your relationship or just be friends?
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A
female
reader, Supacat  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Well who knows why men do the things they do...I'm guessing that because you started this relationship casually and really had no intentions of it becoming a long term thing, he is now worried about being tied down.
The best thing to do is ask him straight about his intentions, you should'nt have to spend time second guessing and worrying about how he feels about you. You know how you feel so just ask. The worst that can happen is that you lose a guy who had no intentions of staying with you on a long term basis anyway. Save yourself the anxiety and the time by being honest and hopefully he will do the same.
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