A
female
age
41-50,
*anniepeg
writes:Hi,Over the course of two years, I've seen my boyfriend changed from casual partner to potential life time partner.Here's the things he said to me, about me, about us throughout these two years in timely sequence, and I am pretty much level headed, open minded, accepting and going with the flow.1. I want you to be my sexual partner2. I closed the door on love, even if I find the right one, I won't pursue a serious relationship.3. I don't ever want a baby.4. I can't answer all your questions about relationships, but don't worry, good things will come.5. I want to know what you feel about us. Why don't you ever answer me that question?6. I want to make sure you are only loyal to me.7. He felt that I am a strong independent woman searching for enlightenment.8. He likes me. He wants to get to know me better so he would spend at least twice a week with me.9. Suddenly I am a neglectful mother, I don't ever discipline my son, I don't have goals in life.10. He doesn't want to be with me anymore. He tried enough. He thought carefully.11. He realizes his thinking was rigid and that we could work things out. Before he liked me now he likes me more.12. He wants to spend more time with my son. He plans to live with me in a bigger house in the future.13. We talked about birth control. He says he might want a baby in the future.By the way he is 42. In my opinion he is very understanding and compassionate. I just don't understand why he would fluctuate so much about what he wants. He justifies by saying "that's what I felt at the moment and I have the right to feel, and to express what I feel."
View related questions:
want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Good point Q, I didn't think about it like that...
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Do you two ever talk about what YOU are feeling?
Point 13 for instance. Did that talk about birth control include YOUR feelings on the subject?
His justification seems a bit immature. A man of 42 really should have a bit more clarity about what he does or doesn't want.
Part of being mature is not speaking Ooh look the cat is chasing a bug and acting on every Why is there a spot on my monitor thought that crosses Do I have to pump gas that crosses your mind.
10-11, just maybe if he had shut up between then there wouldn't have been an issue.
What does it say about a man of 42 being so wishy washy? Constantly changing his mind over a two year period?
Oh and number 7, come on. I can smell the manure from here. That is some class A bovine excrement.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (4 September 2010):
I think if anybody archives whatever their partner has said to them over two years and selectively recounts them all at once then they can paint them in any light they wish. That's why I'm finding it hard to weigh-in without this niggling feeling that I could be way off the mark...
In my opinion, over two years people can change a lot and are bound to contradict themselves or say things they don't mean when they're emotional so I can see why you'd be confused if you've been recording everything he's ever said. Can you honestly say that you haven't changed over those 2 years?
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 but this flim flaming shouldn't be justified if it negatively affects you. What can you count on with this guy? One day he wants one thing then the next day something else. Anytime he says he wants something, just tell him that you don't believe what he says will be the same the next day. If you want stability for yourself and your son, you really need someone who's decisions are stable, that you can count on from day to day. It seems like he's playing games more than actually knowing what he wants.
Take care.
...............................
|
