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male
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have been in an internet relationship for almost 3 months. The woman lives about 460 miles from me. We have emailed on a daily basis, talked on the phone (since 10/17 over 700 long distance minutes)and we recently met. I received many compliments and aparently misread things thinking our relationship was a little more than just friends. I was rebutted via email and sent an inquiry for explanation, but in doing so used words that were taken wrong. I told her if she was ending our relationship, what ever that was, that I wouldn't want her to tell me but of course I would... that was a stupid thing to say. I also told her I realize that all I can do is to wait for her to think things through, which she said she wanted to do, and I would leave her alone so she could do that. Anyway she has sent a couple 2-3 short emails which I have responded to. Again against what I had said I would do. I know this is dragging out, sorry.I would like advice as to how to try to mend things and continue to be at least friends. We really have a connection, we bopth have had a great time when we have met. She's a great gal and I think she thinks I am a great guy. Do I lay by my dish and wait or what? Her birthday is tomorrow and I really don't know if I should send an e-card or not.Thank you for any advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2006): If I were in your shoes, I would send that e-card and say something easy-going like "Hey, Happy Birthday! I hope all the good and healthy things make their way to you in the years and moments to come. Anyway, I'm sorry about my misunderstanding towards us. You're a great gal, and I would want nothing more than to have your friendship at the very least. Signing off, your pal from 460 miles away, snowed in and chilling on spiked eggnog, [name]."
If she can't accept something that simple, then she won't accept you at all, and remember to title your e-card subject header (if you can) something like "Holiday Yum Yums From Your's Truly" or something to lighten up the mood.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2006): Yes. Send her a birthday card. Wait a few days to see if you get a response. If not, send an email and just be honest. Keep it clear and relatively short. Tell her you are sorry if you offended her in any way - it was not intentional. Add that you like her and would like to get to know her even better (or whatever your desire/goal is). Ask for a reply and telling you what her thoughts are and how she'd like to proceed.
If she replies to you she will tell you it's a go or no and if she doesn't reply to you then you know it's a no go. Either way you have closure and she will still think of you in a positive light for taking the high road and reaching out by a)sending her a birthday card and b)being honest with your feelings toward her.
If she can't be honest back with you then she's not the one for you! Hope this helps!
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