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I thought we could make something out of this... Now I feel that I was wrong. Any advice?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 22 July 2007)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Okay, we are not children, I'm 40, he's 45. We met through mutual friends and there is definitely attraction and we have just begun seeing each other. He found my site on Match.com after our first date, and now has created a page there as well. I had planned on letting mine expire, as I have had no luck and was doing better through my friends (after all, I met him). When I asked about why he did that, he said he was "just trolling". I'm insulted. I'm slender, attractive and successful, and I thought we might actually make a go of this. What is your take on this?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007):

I think he created the match profile because you had one.

Tell him you'll delete yours when he deletes his.

Do not tell him you have not had much sucess on the site.

Let him wonder about that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

My guess is he has some baggage from a previous relationship. The comment he made about "trolling" would make me uncomfortable too. I'm wondering, what would it hurt to come right out and ask him how it made him feel when he saw your web page on Match.com? The relationship is new and he may not be willing to open up to you, but it will let him know you're not afraid to ask the hard questions.

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A male reader, leonard j.Douglas Philippines +, writes (29 June 2007):

All early Relationships are like icebergs with very little showing above the water of beginning togetherness. In your cases, I would like to say,neither of you know very much abot each others likes and dislikes. Sex in bed may be great, but it will take more than that to make the relationship work. So go slow and see what happens. You, A woman, Will soon know if the relationship will end-up in Somewheresville or in Nowheresville. Most men and women don't know when to walk away. So they get hurt. You are past the point of thinking with your genitals,so use your head,not your heart. However when the rubber hits the road. You'll be the only one to open your arms,and your heart to him, or kiss him off. Do hope things work out for the two of you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

I don't know, this is kind of weird, he opened the account after you told him you had one on match.com, or he went looking on match.com and found your page after dating you once?

It may be that he wants to see what you are up to on the site, or when you might let your acocunt go cold, as if to balance out the relationship and make it seem like he is not tied down to you yet.

I think it is too early to tell, and you haven't dated him but a couple of times and already you are thinking about locking him down into a relationship, take things slower and try to get to know him better and find out what he is all about and what he is looking for, because it really does matter what it is he wants and how it matches up with what you want....I would not over analyze the match.com thing, it doesn't really mean anything except that you are both just dating...dating is selection process, he does not know enough about you yet to think that you are the one. Hang in there if you like him and there will more to come that will answer your questions.

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A female reader, Brandi United States +, writes (29 June 2007):

Brandi agony auntI think you should trust your gut. if you bodie is saying no and you are reconsidering this then forget it. Jesus might be trying to tell you something.

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A female reader, angelica111 United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

angelica111 agony auntHi there!

Did he create the page infront of you? Anyway, i would have been hurt too. Suppose you did that "just trolling", he wouldn't have appreciated it AT ALL, believe me! Just trolling... No, he did it for a reason. I don't know him, but out of what you've written, it could be to contact other women because he has not got the same attraction towards you, I mean, maybe he just wants a kind of frienship.. Or, he might want to chat w/ you inconito thro this site, and see what you say.. You only have got to know each other yet, he might be shy.. I can't really find a GOOD reason to have done a thing like that, all i can say is, at least he did it and let you know about this. So, he was honest. Try getting to know him better, and see what happens. Good luck!

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A female reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

lisarocksyoursocksoff agony aunti'd say don't throw in the towel just yet, afterall you two aren't even that serious yet, so technically he's done nothing wrong, right?

if you feel that you can't trust him.. then i'd suggest thinking about where he stands in your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007):

Yes, well that is a thought. I know he is definitely smitten with me, but perhaps he is a just a player...

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2007):

flower girl agony auntThis is only a suggestion but maybe he created the account on match.com so he could check to see if you were logging on daily, becausebecause you can only see certain things on there if you have an account.

Take care.xx.

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