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*haz
writes: My 17 yr old boyfriend caused some trouble for himself with some 14 & 15 yr olds. I stopped them from beating him up by distracting them, but instead of standing his ground & protecting me, he ran off & left me on my own. He says he loves me. He says it's because he didn't know if they had a knife or not. He denies he'd rather I found out whether they had a knife or not. I always stood by him if there was any trouble, so why didn't he do the same for me? I thought that love meant you would protect a loved one from any harm. Does he really love me? Why did he let me down? Should I dump him? Am I right to want revenge?
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reader, REBECCA +, writes (14 April 2005):
HiPlease take the advice given alreadyYou are both young and unfortunately 17yr old boys are a little bit selfish and sometimes only think about there own skin! He was wrong in leaving you in a dangerous situation but give him a second chance!Why don't you both go to self-defence classes and then that way you will both be able to hand anymore situations like these! He might be low on confidence Take Care
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 April 2005):
 Hmmm. So your boyfriend ran off because he wasn't sure whether they had a knife. OK... but I'd be asking him: what if they had? And he'd just left you there?I think your b/f panicked, which is a normal response. In his defense (sort of) he probably sized up the situation and ran without thinking, before things got any worse. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but the fact that he left you to deal with what could have been a extremely dangerous situation does indicate that he's concerned chiefly with his own interests, and not yours.Someone loving you doesn't automatically mean that they develop the heart of a lion, but he should have realised the danger he put you in, and his concern for your welfare falls pretty well short in that department. Shame on him.Having said all that, 17 is still a very young man. Your b/f is still at least 50% kid and has a long way to grow yet. Maybe he deserves another chance. Just be sure that he understands that he should NEVER AGAIN stir up trouble when he's with you, and that it will definitely be the end for you two if he does.As to the specific answers to your questions: He probably does think he loves you, but he has yet to really understand how a truly loving boyfriend should behave. That's a matter of maturity and experience.He let you down because he was terrified.Should you dump him? Your call, but I'd give him a second chance, with all the provisos listed above.Revenge? No, never. It's understandable that you're hurt, disappointed and angry, but revenge gets you nothing. Either accept that your boyfriend is human and therefore flawed, or walk away. Don't stoop to stupid tricks.Good luck, dear.
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