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I think my mom likes my sister better

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Question - (3 April 2022) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 April 2022)
A female United States age 13-15, anonymous writes:

I think my mom likes my sister more than me you may be asking why? How do you know that? Well, I have some observations that will tell you how I think that my mom like my sister better.

First of all, whenever me and my sister get into some kind of trouble (together), and of course mom gets mad, it takes almost a day to make my mom forgive me, but on the other hand it takes only a couple of hours for my mom to forgive my sister. This happens even though me and my sister both deserve the same amount of time to be forgiven.

I have unconditional love for my mom, which might be the problem. For example if I have to go to a party or something like that I cant stay without my mom...I don't really know why but that is the case, maybe.

Please lmk if you have any answers on how I should act to that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2022):

I have two daughters around your age and while neither their mom nor I like one more than the other, we do agree that one of them is more difficult. This causes us to lose our patience with her a little quicker, because she's regularly got an attitude while the other one is more easy going.

That being said we both love them equally.

Maybe your situation is similar.

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A female reader, ItsWrittenForYou United States +, writes (4 April 2022):

This happened to me too growing up and it is because my father seemed to like me more than my mom and it gave her jealousy. I think you should mediate on a few occasions in your past about how your mom might have felt with you spending time with your father and see if there is something extra special you can do for her to get outside of yourself because if it happens when you are older you might feel left out as she spends time with your sister more than you… I know you are so young right now and cannot take back the past and it is not your fault but you will heal and if you have to cry just know sister I will be crying with you ??

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 April 2022):

Honeypie agony auntAre you the older sister?

If so, it's not uncommon for parents to have "higher expectations" and different rules for the oldest child. Totally unfair, but not uncommon.

I have 3 daughters and I love them all unconditionally, I have no favorites. They are all VERY different and I enjoy the fact that they have their own distinct personality and we mesh differently. I do different things with each daughter. And some things we ALL enjoy and do together when we can.

Your mom might feel YOU need harder rules for whatever reason. That doesn't mean she loves you less than your sister.

An idea could be that you sit your mom down and talk to her.

Write down 3 examples of times you felt you were not as appreciated or loved. And then talk them through.

Maybe your mom isn't aware that she treats you two differenly. So talk to her. (and not after a fight or disagreement and perhaps when your sis is out of the house)

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