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I think my guy misunderstood the "hot tub incident", but he's stopped calling me.

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

I recently went on a few dates with a guy who I got on really well with.

Everthing was going well until I went to a party without him and he rang me whilst I was in the hot tub with a few male friends, who happened to be naked. I wasn't.

Nothing happened and he seemed fine about it, but since then he stoppped ringing me as often, made excuses as to why he couldn't see me and eventually sent me a message saying he wasn't ready for a relationship as he'd just come out of a 2 year relationship, but could he ring me when he's ready?

I've since found out that he told friends that we weren't seeing each other anyomre because of a 'hot tub incident'. I can't wait for him to call me as I've lost my phone and so he doesn't have my number. Do I call him and ask him the real reason why he stoppped wanting to see me, and tell him that the hot tub thing meant nothing and nothing actually happened, or do I just throw away what I thought was the beginning of a really good relationship?

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A reader, pops +, writes (29 June 2005):

Call him up. If he can get over his self loathing enough to date you again, see him. If not, drop him. No one needs someone who has so little self esteem that they express " jealousy" about the people their dates see when they are not with them. What is his problem? He's not married to you. You are not even engaged! Does he expect you to only date him, so soon? I dated my second wife almost daily for almost a month before we started getting serious about each other. I guess I am not in touch with how young people expect each other to act these days. Call him if you are still interested, but don't apologize for something you did not do. You owe him no apology for the hot tub incident. And no explanation. You might consider not answering the phone when you are with other guests, since it may hurt the feelings of your friends if they know they were not invited. pops

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2005):

if you had called him and he was in a hot tub with naked girls how would you have felt?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005):

well i think you should make the move because him seeing you with them guys most likely made him jealous and stuff, so call him and ask if he wants to meet up for lunch or something and them try to discuss it

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