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I think my friends have ditched me because I'm pregnant

Tagged as: Friends, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear aunts/ uncles. Iv got to be honest im feeling really down the last couple of days. Im 7 months pregnant and I suddenly seem to have lost my friends! I have a loving husband and family so im not on my own but I love a catch up with mates only every time i try and arrange something, people are too busy. My closest friend told me she was too ill to do anything and didnt want me to catch it ( fair enough and get well soon is wat I told her) only I then bumped into her shopping in town with another friend on the same day! Things like this are happening all the time lately. I feel like maybe im a burden on my friends pestering them to do things or perhaps i walk too slowly lol but im feeling so lonely at the moment and I dont know what to do, nobody even asks how I am. I told my friend that Im feeling lonely and her answer was how can i be lonely when im married and have so much family, so obviously she just doesnt understand and i dont want to argue. Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2012):

Oh honey I feel for you, I really do! I went through the same thing when I had my daughter, I felt like my pregnacy was a desiese and they were all scared they would catch it too.

And honestly it is scary what you are going through, your body is changing you would be very emotional, and soon your going to be a mum. And right now it seems like the worst thing ever, but it gets better.

The way I delt with it was to clean, I cleaned the house top to bottom, my little girls clothes were washed and ready, I made sure I had everything she would need. I found a couple of books that I could read to her, (I love you Stinky Face and Green Eggs and Ham), I read them to her all the time. I found a song that I loved and I would sing it to her all the time, hers were kiddy songs. (I'll Stand By you, was the song I sang to my son when i was pregnant with him. And just a hint when ever he was upset and I had troubles calming him down, I would sit with him in my arms and sing that song to him, and in seconds he would calm down, I know this is not related to your question, I just found it really helped me.)

Good Luck with the birth I wish you all the best and I hope this help even just a little. You will have a friend come along and she will be by your side near of far always. Enjoy your baby.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2012):

It's very ussual situation when you get married and start a family, and your friends are single.

You are in different categories now. They are free to do what the want, at your age clubs are still in a picture, and you are very pregnant. You can't do things with them anymore like going dancing or even shopping for long.

They don't realize you are lonely, because they automatically think you are busy with your husband. It will change when they ll have families.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 November 2012):

chigirl agony auntYou didn't want to argue your case with your friend. You didn't confront your best friend when she said she was too ill to see you, but when you met her at the mall.

Stand up for yourself, that's my suggestion. Take that fight. Friendships need to have a few fights as well, just like relationships. It's only healthy to let your feelings and thoughts out once in a while, otherwise how do you know who your true friends are?

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