A
male
age
36-40,
*amconfused47
writes:Ok heres my story. Im pretty sure I have a mild case of PE. I am 22 years old, and have been having sex for 4 years now. I was with my most recent GF for over 3 years, and enjoyed a pretty good sex life. I would PE every once in awhile, but it wasnt really a huge issue. It usually only happened when we didn't have sex for a few days or more, or when I was REALLY in the mood. I seemed to develop an ability to tell when I was going to cum, then hold it in or stop until the feeling subsided. Anyways, she never had a complaint about it. I am also skilled in oral, so this probably helped the situation. Now Ill bring you up to present day. We have been broke up for about 2 months now, and all of a sudden Im getting some SERIOUS anxiety about my problem. Since I have been single, I think my problem is getting worse. I have been to a couple strip clubs with some buddies lately. And have ended blowing my load both times during a lap dance. Granted these were extended sessions, and not just 1 dance. And the last time the girl was grinding all over my crotch pretty intensely. But I came in my pants. I dont feel this should be happening. And I had a sexual encounter with one women since then, and it didn't go well. She was giving me oral and I blew my load within 4 minutes of the first contact, even with some delayed touching. This is becoming a huge concern of mine, and its effecting my mentally. I find myself being scared to pursue relationship's because of this. Its extremely embarrassing for me. I dont know what to do.Am I worrying to much about this? Because like I said it wasn't a very big issue in my last LONG relationship. although it did crop up from time to time. I need some help to deal with the issue. Im still very young, and dont want it to effect my sex life for very much longer. Anybody here in the same boat, or know of anything that would help me? I have heard anti-depressants work wonders for people like me. And I do suffer from depression i think, and have for years. So maybe this would be my best bet? I wouldn't be taking them for the sole purpose of delayed ejaculation. And I have been told by many close people that I should consider taking them for my health, as I have a family history of depression. Is this a viable option? Any help would be great.
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broke up, ejaculation, in the mood, lapdance, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 February 2008):
 What would avoiding lap dances accomplish?
Well I've never experienced one but would think, based in part on your experience creaming in your pants, that this kind of thing combined with your self-described "nasty porn habit" keeps you at high state of excitement.
That could certainly play a role in PE when you finally get an opportunity wouldn't you think?
A
male
reader, iamconfused47 +, writes (1 February 2008):
iamconfused47 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat would avoiding lap dances do?Anyways....Ive come to realize that this all stems from my initial excitement phase. I get so worked up during a hot new encounter that I often lose control. After the newness wears off Im usually good....is this normal?Also I believe I am in a way addicted to sex...which is embarrassing to say. Ive had a nasty porn habit for a number of years, and am not sure if that could be playing a role in this.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 This is a great site and contains a wealth of informations on PE.Hope you will find your answers here.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/prematureejaculation.htm
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 February 2008):
First of all I think you have become or possibly have been at least somewhat obsessed with sex, which these days, and going all the way back to my own youth during the 1960s, is not too unusual.
The workable cure for PE is not an overnight happening, but I'll tell you that with practice over a period of a few weeks, the prob can be mitigated.
It is called "Kegel exercises", and in a nutshell, involves developing control over a muscle down in the crotch called the "pubococcygeal muscle," which basically controls the peeing "shut off" for both men and women.
Have you ever been taking a leak and an important phone call or so other occurrence suddenly happens that requires you to stop in mid-stream? You try to shut it off, usually to no avail. It sometimes has happened to me when I absolutely MUST go along an open road or somewhere not hidden, and a car suddenly comes around the corner. Got it? You want to stop now and you try, but have not finished and it keeps leaking.
Well, it CAN be done, and can include controlling semen release as well, IF you exercise this little known muscle "ring" that shuts off the urinary tube through which both urine and semen is released.
Get a book called "The Complete Idiot's Guide to The Kama Sutra," possibly available in the library or online or at Barnes and Noble.
A few women I have known also gain control of this muscle, along with another called the cross-perineum muscle, to literally squeeze a penis during intercourse - a fantastic feeling to say the least.
You can practice contracting that muscle anytime, while peeing (stop and restart), driving, in class, just about doing anything anywhere. Nobody knows that you're sitting there squeezing and releasing a crotch muscle.
In addition, mental control helps too. Think of something else when the urge to release is mounting, at least long enough to make it subside. I've often thought briefly of a nasty smelling woman I once screwed.
And maybe you should also avoid lap dances.
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