A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I am 20 and my husband is 30. We got married this year and I have been so in love with him. We get along great and he is my best friend. But lately things haven't been the same. I am young and I feel like I am missing out on life such as dating around, going out with friends, and not having motherly responsibilities (he has a little boy who lives with us). I just feel like life is passing me by. Everytime I go home to visit I just want to stay and not leave EVER. I don't know what it wrong with me. Am I going through a phase? My husband wants to move out of the state and of course this is devastating me. I don't want to leave. We just have different plans for the future and it is making me love him less and want to just get out while I can. I don't know how to talk to him about this, because of course I have said oh I will never to that to you, we will be together forever blah blah. I am so scared this is going to kill him. He absolutely adores me, and he gets so emotional over me. I just don't feel right with him anymore. How do I tell him this stuff? I am so scared.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): You need a marriage counselor, and you may need to get divorced. Yes, you don't know what you missed...which may be terrible, which may be great, but you don't know because you are 20 and not 30.
People make mistakes, one of which is marrying people that are not in their life phase.
Get counseling, work out an amicable separation and divorce if necessary, and do this now not 5 or 10 years from now.
A
female
reader, Mgj99 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Well quick question how long have you known your husband before you got married?
My parents have been married for 23 years now and they both were 21. But you have to look at the times. That was back in the 80's, people were getting married young back then all the time. Nowadays I am guessing the average marriage age is about 26 or so. Men and women are both going to college, figuring out who they are and what they want in life before making any big commitments. No offense though, I myself am on 19 and don't know a bunch about relationships, but I feel as if you were too young. And the age difference could have played a part. But like I said I don't know you. You were probably looking for the perfect husband and found him, and now you want all that newlywed romance. Of doing things together for the first time. i.e. buying a house/car talking about children. I don't know. With the age difference it seems to me that he has already experienced that. Not sure if he's been married before, but with a child I think so. He's already experienced that stuff, what he wants now is a mature (not saying you're not) wife. Someone who will be there for his child and him. But, you two are newlyweds, talk it out. Let him know how you're feeling. Keeping this information in will only hurt you both more. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him about it at least let one of your friends know. Honesty is key in any working relationship. I hope all goes well.
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