A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17, 18 in a few months, I have been talking to this guy in Washington since around April, he is 20. Anyway he wants me to come over to see him, hes in college and drinks a lot he says, my life is pretty bad at home right now and I see it as the only way out, even though I would have to come back!But the real problem is he just seems to want me over there to have fun, which I am fine with..I think!, but I don't want to come back home after a few weeks with no money, having spent it all on flights etc..?I also don't want to be taken advantage of, does he truly like me, how can I tell? Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): Even if this guy was next door, seeing someone as a way out from home is just not a good idea. If you home life is bad at home, use the money you would of spent going over to see him and start saving to start your own life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): I don't think going over to Washington to see this guy is a good idea, at least not at the moment. You are not certain how he feels about you, so I think it would be better to have more contact with him and get to know him more first. You will start to get a better idea of what he is like, and what his expectations and intentions are.
You say your life at home is pretty bad right now, and I am sorry to hear that. That must be difficult and unpleasant, so the thought of going to see this guy must seem like a great idea. Like a way out, an escape, an adventure away from your normal life. But again, I really don't think it is a solution. You don't know what you would be walking into by seeing this guy. What if it is worse than where you are now? What if he is not a nice person? What if you don't get on in person? And if he drinks a lot, there might be some problems there too. It just sounds a bit concerning to me.
I am not trying to walk all over your dreams and plans. It really is your decision. But I would just like to ask you to be careful. You have not known this guy for very long. You are not sure what he wants from you. Just fun? Or more? Something else? The situation is unclear and hazy, and because of your current problems, it is making you vulnerable.
I think it would be better to just get to know him more first, until you have a better picture of who he is and what he wants. In the meantime, if possible see if there is any way you can make your home situation better. Could you talk to someone about what is going on, or about how you are feeling? Wait until things are more settled before making any big decisions like this. And if he really does want to see you at some point...how about if you tell HIM to come to YOU? That would be safer for you. I hope something here helps.
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A
female
reader, SoftShine  +, writes (6 September 2010):
if he is caaling you over to just have fun all the way to washington..then his idea of fun would be to take advantage of you and your innocence. there is no use going to meet him. u would find plenty of boys nearer.
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