A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: Trigger warning, sexual abuse.I don't know if this is the right place for this question, but this I don't know where to go for resources or advice for this. I work in the fast food industry, and I work with a lot of teenagers, but we also get immigrants that will work with us also for a while. There's a 15-16yo Ukrainian girl that's started a few months ago. I have no idea what her home situation is like, only that she's here with her twin sister and her mom is still in Ukraine. I've heard comments from other coworkers about how she gets socially too close to some of the adults male managers, following them around and such. I chocked it up to teenage crushes and moved on with my life, until she started getting weird with me too. I'm a woman, and I thought maybe it's because I've been really trying to make her feel included in the workspace that she's just taken to me and is being friendly in a way I'm not used to. Until yesterday I went to grab for something on a shelf at hip level and she straight up put her crotch in my way. I immediately recoiled and she was genuinely upset that I didn't want to touch her, but she tried to laugh it off. I was wondering why, but it just dawned on me that all the behaviour that she's exhibiting is clearly someone who's been a victim of sexual abuse. She's told me a couple times that she eats a lot of bad food on purpose to make herself overweight, and other offhand comments I haven't given much merit to until it's all adding up now. I've seen this kind of behaviour before. Is it appropriate to bring this up with my general manager that I think she's been/being hurt at home? I don't know what her home situation is, and what negative impacts an investigation could do to her? I don't even know if this is the case, but should I make it my business and get involved? And if I do get involved, who do I go to? Cps? The police? What I don't want to have happen is for her to end up having her whole life overturned somehow because of an allegation that shes been hurt. I also don't know if it's even appropriate to confront her about it and find out more about her situation in such a professional environment. Am I overreacting? Any advice or resources would be extremely helpful. I only want to help and I don't want to make things difficult for her
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2023): She's a minor and has to have a legal guardian. I don't know where you could report this, especially since you have not witnessed any abuse take place, so it's not only where (or to whom), but WHAT.
Yes, she acts like a person who survived sexual abuse (is maybe surviving still) or (and) a person who suffers from a personality disorder (histrionic, borderline...).
I have a friend who suffers from borderline personality disorder and who has survived sexual abuse (she was never specific about it). She needs to see people like her, find her attractive... she uses it to feel good about herself (safe) and to get what she wants.
I have another friend who acts the same way - I don't know her history apart from substance adiction she now has under control. She used to try to seduce people to get what she needs (men or women).
So this is tricky. You have no idea what's happening.
I'd observe and be very careful around that person.
If you have a colleague you trust , maybe try talking to them. Honestly I could say that I would have trusted anyone at work with this.
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