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female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: I am [or should say, was] with a highly oversensitive and passive-agressive guy. It got very serious fairly quickly, and stayed that way until I mentioned that I hated someone he was close to, and a week or two later said something else without thinking that he took seriously. This was six weeks ago. He says we're currently friends and he needs time before things can get back to normal [something he said about two weeks ago, maybe a little longer], and granted, we've been arguing about it since then, and I may have been a lot pushier than I should have. But at this point things are more strained than ever and he's pissing me off. Should I give him two or three more weeks to calm down without asking or trying to argue about it, or is this idiot just screwing with me? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): All right, here's some questions answered:1: The person came up in conversation. He knew full well I wasn't going to like them, and asked why I couldn't stand them, so I answered. It's not my way to dance around and hide the truth, even if it's unpleasant.2: I'm a naturally aggressive person. He knew that too, and actually said it was a reason I interested him. 3: I was never abused or abandoned as a little kid, so there goes that idea. And no, at the moment I don't have a lot of respect for him. I'm extremely ticked and don't feel like begging his forgiveness anymore, since he just gets irritated when I try to apologize and can't let the past go. I was wrong, I admitted it, I wouldn't do it again, and if he wants me gone for just something I said I have a right to get irritable about it- albeit maybe not to his face.4: How in the hell does being happy around someone right off the bat translate into a sign of abuse?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): In response to the post..
1: The conversation turned to someone I can't stand. He knew full well I wasn't going to like them, asked me why I can't stand this person, and I answered, because it's not my way to dance around and hide the truth even if it is unpleasant.
2: I'm naturally an aggressive person. He knew that too, and actually said he liked it and it was one of the reasons I interested him.
3: I was never abused or abandoned when I was a little kid, so there goes that idea. And right now, no, I don't have a lot of respect for him, I'm extremely ticked and don't feel like begging his forgiveness anymore when he's only going to get irritated by it and not let the past go.
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Well I have to wonder why you omit/hide what you said exactly. And why you hate that person.
Sometimes when we care and love important people in our life, it is because they mean a great deal to us, because they have proven their friendship, love, reliability.
I'd wonder why you felt threatened by that someone you hated. That in itself is not a good feeling to have for someone else.
It's a very aggressive, hateful, hurtful thing to say.
When you attack someone's loved one, you are attacking them. So that's a concern right there. That shows you don't have respect for the dude "you are with".
That you say he is pissing you off, again, aggression.
A sure sign of an abusive dynamic, is that you both "hit it off". This recognitions is usually due to you recognize certain qualities in someone that has similar qualities to you, or to someone in your childhood that was abusive.
Abusive means, neglectful, cold towards you, verbal abusive, physically abusive, psychologically abusive, parents who are emotionally abusive meaning they treated you like their partner, told your their secrets, treated you like a best friend...they felt threatened by you having friends...
In your posts and words, you convery alot of anger and pain.
I'd hazard the guess you are not emotionally prepared for a long term relationship unless you deal with your anger issues and possibly abandonment issues, with counselling.
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