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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I sometimes feel bad about not being to relate to my friends when they talk about guys or their relationships. I've only been in one serious relationship, but they've been in more. They don't make me feel bad or left out or anything, but I just feel like I don't fit in or they don't want to tell me about their life because I can't relate. It's probably just me, I guess it's more my problem and how I feel than my friends, but I just don't really want to be in a relationship right now. My friends always need a guy or attention from guys to feel complete, but I was never that way. I never really had the big dream wedding planned out in my mind since I was little. In fact, it scares me, to think of all of that attention on me and wearing some ridiculous poofy dress! (My dad passed away last year, so now I don't even have my father to walk me down the aisle.) I always wanted to focus on my career and be independent and not have to depend on a man to support me. I listen to my friends when they talk about guys, I don't argue with their feelings or relationships, but how can I not feel so bad about my own?
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female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (9 November 2009):
Cheer up honey - you have some fantastic and enviable qualities - you're strong, independent, career-focused and don't feel that you need a guy to complete you. Just remember them when you start to feel bad. Your friends probably really respect these qualities in you.
You've had a relationship before so, to a certain extent, you can relate to your friends. Not having had as many relationships as your friends doesn't mean that your experience or opinions are any less important. And I don't think that your friends expect you to "relate" to their experiences all the time - they're just happy for you to listen.
You've partly answered your own question by stating that the problem is how you FEEL. Your friend's perceptions of you are probably totally different to the perceptions you have of yourself. Keep reminding yourself of your good qualities.
(I can't be bothered with relationships much either because they're to complicated. When my friends start banging on about their relationship troubles, I can smile to myself and think how lucky I am not to have to go through all that myself :) LOL
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