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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I seem to be heavily dependent on people emotionally and whatever they believe is something to be rejected, I reject it. Especially I have this ideal expectation from people especially elders that they are to offer me some kind of moral support to me. Whereas what I get is some kind of manipulation/toxic behavior and that makes me furious and almost angry to dump everything I have, something that those elders desire highly so that I remain dependent on them forever. Please advise on how do I resolve this inner conflict? I have about expectations from elders ideally and what I really get from them..Please advise... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dick Diva  +, writes (16 July 2007):
Expectation of others is like a judgment or opinion. If I understand your dilemma correctly, you are looking for support but not getting it and the expectation you have that they should is pissing you off.
I highly recomend using people in the same circumstances for support because one person with the same issue helping another with the same issue is without parallel. (Sound familiar anyone?) This is because no matter how old someone is, their experience may lack in the supportive areas you need.
This is called group support, support networks, group counselling etc.
Listen to advice, take what you want and leave the rest behind. This is called letting go. Letting go is hard to do and harder to explain. An analogy if you will:
I was child swimming in a calm area of a river. My family was on the bank having a picnic. I got to far into the current and began being washed down the river. I franticly started to swim in the opposite direction but like going the wrong way on an escalator I went nowhere and was tiring out doing it.
My family were all yelling something at me but I was too panicked to hear when suddenly it dawned on me to what they where yelling. "Stand Up!". I stood up and the water was only above my knees.
In other words, let go and stop fighting.
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