A
female
age
36-40,
*ula
writes:I am friends with a man who I learnt just today that he is 10 years my senior. I had from time to time, confined in him on some rather private matters; like dating and choosing the right chap etc. I had always thought he was at least 20 years older than me so excluded the possibility of him having any sort of interest in me as I though more of him a big brother or even a father figure.. Now I feel stupid to have done so and would want to know how do I draw the lines? Do I face him and let him know that he doesn't stand a chance. Or do I ignore his advances and slowly write him off from my life! I feel totally exposed although I did not share much with him but the mere though that he may be interested gives me the creeps. Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (17 November 2014):
If the messages he's sent you are really really inappropriate (i.e sexually explicit) - message him straight back saying something like "Eeeew Gross! Please don't say things like that to me again. Ever"Then you'll have to decide whether or not to continue a friendship with him. I, personally, would find it quite hard to sustain a good friendship with a guy who had expressed very explicit sexual thoughts about me, in case I gave him the wrong idea so I'd probably only see him in group settings with mutual friends. I would withdraw from him a little bit. I wouldn't engage in lengthy text conversations again and I certainly would discuss personal problems with him again.If it's been a bit more mild about it but it's definite flirting, ignore it as it happens - be polite if you have to reply to him but don't flirt back. When you next see him say something like"You know that text you sent me on Friday? Well, I'd rather you DIDN'T flirt with me like that. I felt very uncomfortable because, much as I like you and value our friendhip, I don't see you like that at all. You feel like family."
A
female
reader, Tula +, writes (17 November 2014):
Tula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe hasn't asked me out in the romantic sense ... On a date as we have met ... But he always says can I have the pleasure of your company!! We meet each other through friends, never alone but the messages he wrote me lately were not exactly to my liking ...
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (17 November 2014):
Has he given you indication that he is interested in you in that way? Has he actually asked you out or is he flirting with you?
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