A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I've been having a really hard time lately. My Dad had a serious operation and isn't recovering so well. The doctors say he's going to be fine but I feel sick with worry. Also I recently lost my job and need to borrow some money to pay for my rent. As you have be able to tell, I'm a little stressed.But thats not the main reason I'm writing. I was hope that my girlfriend of 3 years could help me through this personally difficult time. But it seems she couldn't careless. So far, all she's done is talk about herself. A few days ago I came home from work in a real mess. About an hour later i asked her if we could have a chat about everything. She said yeah. About 5 minutes later, she got a phone call of a mate and decided to piss of down the pub. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not possessive in any way. If she wants to go out with her mate then great, but I really need help at the moment and i was really expecting her to help me.You may think at I'm being immature but I haven't spoken to her since that night. I've been way to angry. Then tonight she had the cheek to turn around and say "I haven't done anything" and I said "precisely" and stormed out. I'm really stressed out at the moment and really need some advice. Help!Many thanks.
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female
reader, diamondgal  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Sorry that you are going through such a hard time. This is a good indication of your girlfriends character and her ability to be the loving, caring and compassionate person that you deserve.
A
female
reader, talker +, writes (11 July 2008):
 I'm so sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. Do you have anyone else besides your girlfriend that you can talk to about everything you're going through right now?
About your girlfriend...I'd like to say that I'm not trying to excuse the way she's been handling the situation, she's obviously not being supportive enough for you. But maybe if I tell you this it might help you out...from my own experience (gulty one here), sometimes people talk about themselves or focus on them when they feel uncomfortable with a situation.
The guy I am dating recently had his very close cousin pass away and although deep down inside I really wanted to be there for him I couldn't bring myself to talk about the subject. I kept changing the subject and just talking about myself whenever I was around him. Basically, it reminded me of death which isn't something most people are good at dealing with...so basically, maybe she's not doing it on purpose. Maybe the subject makes her uncomfortable...sometimes the reality that people can die hits very close to home for some people. She might not even realize what she's doing.
I understand your frustration and of course it shouldn't be something you have to do in addition to all the other stress you have going on in your life...but sit her down and tell her how her reaction is affecting you. Tell her the reaction you would like her to have and then tell her you're not blaming her but that you would like to have an honest conversation with her.
Talking about it will help. I'm sure. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): I'm soo sorry that you are going through these times....but it is in these times that we grow, and see who is growing with us, or not. It seems that your girlfriend isn't growing with you. She seems content to be selfish and inmature. You can try talking to her, but if she isn't aware of her hurtful actions, you talkiong to her will probably not help...but give her the bennifit of the doubt. You deserve someone who will let you fall apart if you need to.....She dosne't seem alble to haldle that kind of reslpnsobility right now. God Bless!!
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