A
female
age
36-40,
*azmay17
writes:I have been married for almost a year now. He and I are best friends. Or at least we were before we got together, it doesnt seem so anymore!!! We fight all the time about stupid stuff!!! He works out of town 3-4 days a week and is home on the weekends and we fight most of that time!! I know that I can be a bitch sometimes!!! But that is one of the reasons he claims he married me, because i speak my mind and am not afraid of what people think!!! But he only loves that part of me when it is convieant for him, when i am like that with him, all of the sudden its not worth it,,,,,,,and we sould just get a divorce!!! WTF?? i say that giving up is wrong, that little fights are stupid to give up on love but is it really worth the turmoil???He also is divorced and has 3 kids from a previous marriage and we are 10 years apart, hes older. I love those kids but i did not have those kids. I knew when i married him that i was marrying his kids too, but i didnt realize that whenever we were going to have the kids it would be my responsibility to be their mom!!! spending time and taking complete care of them while he just sits back and chills is wrong!!!! why am i the bitch when i stand up for what i believe is right?? why am i wrong when i dont let people walk all ovber me???? do i keep on trying??? do i give up??? i love him so much but i dont want to spend the rest of my life fighting over petty shit!!!!! wat do i do???? I like who I am and will never allow anyone to interfere with me being me but sometimes i feel like he only brings out the bad in us!!! when the good does happen it is so good, but when its bad, its just freaking stupid!!!! awwwww!!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tazmay17 +, writes (28 February 2009):
tazmay17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice, i appreciate it. i just feel so lost sometimes. if only it were that easy, to just discuss our issues, but im scared that it isnt. i will try your advice though. thank you!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): What the two of you need to do is re-learn your communication methods. You both have to think about how to communicate without fighting. Most anything can be discussed rather than fought about. My wife and I are both married for the third time. We discussed this topic before we got married and came to an agreement to try and discuss issues. Fighting only brings out words of anger that are really only meant to hurt the other person in an attempt to win the argument/fight. All that really does is cause more hurt and resentment, and drives the couple farther apart. If you think about it, there is nothing that can't be discussed.Sit down and discuss the idea of not fighting, but TALKING about your issues.
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