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I need your opinions please. Is he worth staying with in the long run....?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 November 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 26 November 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *ngelWings21 writes:

Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 and a half years. We both have a child (My son is 4 and his daughter is 3) although both children are from previous relationships. He is currently incarcerated and has been since March of this year. My problem is that he keeps getting locked up.

This all started last year when he was 1st arrested (all for breaking and entering) in August of 2008. He was in from August til November of last year, got out then 2 weeks later was back in until March of this year. He got out AGAIN and 2 weeks later was locked back up!(same thing) He is now in until August of 2010. He has promised to changed and is now making steps towards it (getting his G.E.D. for one thing and also staying out of trouble while inside) We are a young interracial couple (I'm 21 and black; he's 20 and white) and I just don't want to give up on him because I love him BUT I want to go to college to become a pediatrician and do better for my son and I.

I don't know if staying with him will bring me down or lift me up. He is talking marriage and kids but I'm not ready yet. I want to know 100% that he has fully changed his ways. As the old saying goes: "Actions speak louder than words" How long after he is released should I give him to show that he has changed? Thank you for reading and responding!! God Bless :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009):

Dear sweet girl, it is quite clear that he will only bring you down, without a doubt, down, down, down.

You should proceed with your plans assuming he will not be in your life. If he gets out and proceeds to be a productive human being, you will know it. At that point you can give him another chance,if you still want to.

Whatever you do, don't plan your life around him or you may end up with a disapointing future. Do what is best for you and your child :) Best of luck to you.

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