A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went on a date with a guy and then got into a relationship with him, but I have since realised we are not suited/ I am not happy with this. I need to end it ASAP so as not to lead him on, but I need some advice on how. I'll give a bit of 'back story':*He quite recently got out of a 4 year relationship, and was engaged.* He is on anti-depressants and has quite low confidence* I feel it's been a bit too 'intense' and am perhaps not ready for a relationship, having been single and independent for so long.I'm not great with breaking up with someone, so I need help on what to say/how to start it off, and maybe where I should do it (i.e, meet him near his, or down the pub where he has the option to be around people if he chooses) Please go into as much detail as possible, I've only split up with one person, and I want to do it right this time!Thanks in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 March 2013):
 All you need to do is say to him exactly what you told us:
"I feel it's been a bit too 'intense' and am perhaps not ready for a relationship, having been single and independent for so long."
it's not him, it's you.
at the pub is not a good idea.
in private is the best...but that's hard as you don't want it at your place or his... it may be best to do it over the phone then.... especially if you are concerned he will make a scene.
either way you tell him that you just are not up for it and for both your sakes you need to go no contact.
it's hard at first for both of you but it's the kindest way to go.
A
female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (11 March 2013):
 Just call him, tell him you don't want to carry on, you want to end the relationship and you are very sorry. Hang up and don't take his calls again, stock answer is no no no at the door, sms, on the phone. No sorry but no.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 March 2013):
 Take this guy to someplace very public... like a coffee shop (Starbucks or Barnes&Noble, or Dunkin Donuts).... and say to him: "Hunchy-bunchy, I don't think you and I are going to make it as an item.... so, YOU'RE DUMPED"....
Then, walk out the door, don't look back.... and don't ever communicate with him again....
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2013): it sounds to me like you are scared of comitment and need to think about this dont be scared you dont need a man but having one isnt so bad . but if you are sure don't do it in a public place it makes it seem to distant go to his house and tell him you simple are not ready for something so commited. That it really is a "its not you its me " situation (dont use that line of coure) just say it was lovely being with him but you like being a single independant woman and he can find someone who wants the same as him x,hope i helped
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