A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im single and i have been for about 4 months. my ex split up with me because he said he didnt love me anymore and he is now seeing another girl who i also knew at work and we got on reasonably well as she lives in the same appartment block.initially i was shocked and i reacted in a bad way. i admit that i was unnecessarily harsh towards both of them. i condemmed their relationship and said i could not possibly see either of them again despite being a colleague to the other girl. however, i did apologise a day later saying that i was sorry for the way i acted and i shouldnt have said anything really and that they had my permission to go out eventhough they didnt need it in the first place.but the thing is whilst i have accepted that things will probably never go back to the way they were.i still miss him terribly and have these feeling for him and i wish we could go back to how we were before however i respect that he doesnt want to be with me and i do want them both to be happy eventhough it makes me a little sad. i guess its not my happy ending this time round.i want to get over him.has anyone got any tips?? i do genuinely wish that i could get on with both of them. but now it seems that neither of them really want to see me or talk to me and its been awkward whenever i bump into her in the elevator and i dont know whether its all my fault and i should really go and make the first move to say hi, do you want to hang out because they were both my friends. or would they think im a bit of a nutter?but maybe its true when people say that ex's cant be friends?maybe someone can help! i just need an impartial view on all this sillynessthank you :]]
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): I was in a very similar situation at work, only my guy and I never had a chance to develop anything between us because this other girl came into the picture when she saw him pursuing me, she got jealous and now she's his girlfriend. Sure I was heartbroken but determined to not look like a fool and recover from that awful feeling of rejection. It felt like everyone at work knew, and I decided to turn things around and get back in control. I went about my own business, as difficult as it was sometimes, ignored and avoided him as much as possible. If I happen to pass by them I smile and say hi, just like I do everyone else (I discovered it's stressful and gives them control of my feelings to look angry or upset). I recently got myself a boyfriend at work and I can't tell you what a positive difference this has made for me. I now focus on my new boyfriend and how to develop this relationship. You need to replace him/her with another interest and you'll see how things will improve for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): sometimes you just need to find something to occupy your time.or someone:) its been 4 months,i think its time for you to start dating again.it doesnt have to be serious,just some casual dates and see where things go.before you know it all thoughts of him will be pushed to the back of your mind,where its safe:) or if you dont want to date yet,just make some time to do things with your friends.get out and have fun,and realize that you dont need him.theres a million other guys out there...get out and meet some of them:)
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A
female
reader, eleonor rigby  +, writes (25 September 2008):
How long were you with this guy?? well first of all, I don't think you should go and ask to be friends with them, I mean...just imagine how awkward would it be for the 3 of you to be together. Do the opposite, get away from them, don't talk to them. It would be ridiculous to ask you to quit your job, but I think it would be good for you to at least move out of the building so you wont have to deal with them anymore.
If you were in love with this man, you wont be able to truly forget about him, but you can surely try to make his memories less painfull. Get as far as you can from him, be brave take all his stuff or anything that brings you memories and throw them away. As for the girl, just pretend that you don't know her, neither of you ows each other an explanation. Don't talk to her, Don't talk to him. Try to start all over, don't look for another man just yet, it would be worse since you'll be comparing him with the other. Use this time for you! to look better, to feel better, take yoga, paint, I don't know, just keep yourself bussier.
Hope I helped, take care!
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