A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem which is that I can never seem to be able to start talking to a girl I like when I do not know her or when I see her in a shop or something. What do I do??Also I need some tips on how to gain more confidence.Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (5 August 2009):
 Gaining confidence...look after yourself. Wear clean clothes, exfoliate every day, go to the gym, wear perfume!! Girls your age love guys who smell nice!! Diesel is a good brand, or if you go more expensive then Hugo Boss?Compliment girls, e.g. their clothes and they should compliment you back.And as you're shy, if you see the girl in the shop you like, at least say hi, you don't have to start a conversation! And if she does then ask her about her day and school etc. Build up from there.You should also have a get together. Go to the cinema with friends and make sure they invite the girl you like. As you're around the people you know, you should relax a bit more. If do go to the cinema, ask the girl what she thought of it. Maybe even invite her to watch a film together next time alone. Cinema does tend to mean not much talking as you're mostly watching the film. Just try to keep building up from the bottom and if things go well then try more new things.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice. I will try to do some of the things you have told me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Just ask them about themselves..for example if you see them at the gym, ask them how often they go there etc. If they are receptive, there will keep talking. If not, they should respond either way, so try not to be afraid. The only way a girl will know you are into her is if you start talking to her! There are so many guys that never make the 1st move...the girl will never know you are into her, even if she is into you. (most girls will NOT hit on guys...))
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): I'm 57 and was just like you, and I don't think we're alone. Now that I'm older I don't have this problem because I don't care what anyone thinks of me. The way to get to that point is to say what you feel to be true, never lie and don't make up crap. Girls see right through it. If you see a girl and you think she's pretty, ask yourself what about her is pretty and compliment her on that. It doesnt' have to be over the top just a simple "I like the way you wear your hair". Make it short and don't expect ANYTHING in return. If she worth talking to she respond and you might strike up a conversation. If not, who cares, her loss. Keep this in mind too, girls have just as many, even more, fears than you. They're just better a making you feel little if their fears are large.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): For a start, think about your interests. I suggest you join a club in which you will meet some like-minded people (incl. girls). As for the confidence, it will come. Try to join as many activity groups as poss so you can talk to and meet the most people. That way, you will become more sure of yourself. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): you don't really have to talk much... it's better to listen to what women have to say. really listen, encourage her to talk about herself. it's okay to be a little afraid to talk, say anything...it doesn't matter, she'll be checking you out anyhow. remember to compliment her, and be compassionate, and most of all be reassuring. women like men that offer them their strength.
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