A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My problem is quite cliche, I have feelings for my best friend. We've been close for over 3 years now and if anyone spoke of us having feelings for eachother we both just laugh it off. At that point I thought it'd be insane of me to see him as more than a friend. But things have changed. Naturally as we've grown up we've changed friends, but him and I stayed exactly the same. He's now in with the popular crowd yet hasn't pushed me away because I don't fit in with them. He tells me about every girl he likes, asks me for advice and if he's unsure I'll have to sort it out for him. I didn't mind before and was happy to help him get a girl. Lately though, I get jealous. I've become really protective and possesive over him, I don't know whats got into me. When we're apart I miss him, and when we're together I just want to be with him. Yet when I take a step back and look at him as a whole I find nothing amazing about him. He's not that smart, he's quite cocky at times and he's quite self centered. Usually I hate that. So yes, I have quite strong feelings for him. And the more I try to deny it the worse they get. I wouldn't want anything happening between us because I don't want to get hurt again. I've been let down so much in my life. But I'm getting tired of holding in my feelings all the time, I've done it most of my life. Telling him would just make things awkward though. At the same time I don't want to have to push him away just to get over him. Can someone please tell me what to do? Or give me some experience you've been through. I'd much rather get over him then have to tell him what I feel. Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): I had a huge crush on my best friend in high school. Eventually I summoned the courage to tell her I thought we should go out. She said she'd rather be friends. I was crushed, but not broken. And yeah, things were awkward after - but not really any more awkward than they'd been before. It was pretty clear she knew all along, and I imagine your friend knows as well (at least has a suspicion).
FWIW she and I are still really good friends. Eventually I got over my crush, but until I did there was an imbalance in our friendship - I let her get away with a lot more stuff than I would anyone else.
So my advice would be to put it out in the open, prepare for things to be weird for a while, but who knows he may like you back and be too afraid to say anything about it.
Good Luck!
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