A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so my boyfriend of a year has lost his sex drive. This isnt a recent problem, it's been going on since about November last year. I could count the times we've had sex this year on one hand... it's gettting me down. Now we've talked about this issue, he has numerous excuses. Hes bipolar, which can effect his mood a lot, hes trying to ween himself off pot, and he's terrified of loosing his erection during sex. Now I dont hold any of these against him and I dont think any less of him either. He said he wants to work on it and wants to have more sex with him like we did at the beginning of our relationship (like rabbits). I told him I'm willing to wait and I am because I love him but it really does get me down at times. I miss sex. I really really do, sex once a month or once every two months is just really not cutting the mustard anymore. But I dont want sex with anyone else, just him. The thing is with him he said he'll work on it and that he wants to but hes said that soooo many times these past few months and I just see no improvement. I dont know what to do! That being said he feels really guilty about it I know and I just want to help him. I'm just at a loss at the moment.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 July 2010):
 If he is bipolar he really SHOULD take his meds. Hands down.
I DO understand why he's been using pot, it might prevent the HIGH highs and the LOW lows. However, pot is not (nor have it ever been a "cure-all" ) It's a tool to escape or alleviate pain.
Reality is skewered. Specially on pot. I truly hope you can get him to see a doctor. I know a couple of bi-polar people living pretty normal lives, coping and yeah, even having good relationships. It is pretty typical though for bi-polar people to stop taking the meds when they are in the phase where they feel good, which means they swing down fast.
Lithium is a mood stabilizing drug, which can even out the valleys and peaks a bi-polar suffers, it rarely affect their sex drive though.
Most bi-polar are known for a high sex drive ( in the happy manic phase), like you mentioned you guys had in the beginning of the relationship.
Maybe he needs to find a new doctor and try different meds.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 You might point out to him that pot is a medication too just not a prescribed one and look at what it's doing to him. (Don't mean this to sound as harsh as it reads)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionheya guys,
Thanks a heap for your help so far. I guess it makes it more complicated that he doesnt actually take meds for his condition as hes very against them. Pot has been his 'escape' for quite awhile now and hes trying to get away from that now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 July 2010):
Depending on what medicine he is on, it can really affect his libido. Pot doesn't always help wither, so the combo maybe be the biggest reason why.
If he isn't willing to go talk to his doctor and maybe try another type of meds, it's not going to change. You can NOT will him to get horny. You just can.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (15 July 2010):
Why on earth is he taking pot when he has a mental health issue? Sorry to sound harsh but that is crazy! I'm not a doctor but I would imagine that his erection problems are due to bipolar medication being mixed with pot. He needs a bit of a wake up call in my view. Put your foot down either he does something about this or you are out the door. And then really do walk out the door. It doesn't need to be forever just until he gets himself sorted.
Best of luck sweet hope it all works out for you.
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