A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and our sex life is getting me down. I feel like the chemistry is dying... I'm still trying but I'm not getting anywhere! He never initiates sex anymore, and we are only having sex maybe a couple of times a month. We used to have sex pretty much every day. It's making me feel unattractive (I know that I'm not any different to how I was before) and frustrated. What should I do? I've tried talking to him but we don't get anywhere and just end up in a fight. I miss feeling desired from my man. I get lots of attention from other men but I don't want them! And the man I want doesn't seem to want me :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2013): Unlike So Very Confused I cannot live with this little sex no matter how much I love my boyfriend and it needs to be rectified. I understand totally what you mean about not feeling desired, when I said this to my boyfriend he was hurt and a little angry, we nearly split up. I have mentioned my concern over our sex life many times and I don't know what to do now. I know this isn't helping but at least you know you are not alone and maybe we can come to a solution together.I totally empathise so please let me know how you get on. My boyfriend clearly loves me, he shows it in all the thoughtful things he does. We have only been together for six months and when people express concern that we have moved in together so quickly he tells them he has never been happier in his life. (Too long winded to explain why we moved in so quick).As I said we have only been together for six months, he told me when we first got together that he liked sex and yet even as a new couple it was never a case of everyday and I've worked out it is once in every two weeks.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 March 2013):
 I assume you are the one initiating the sex?
step one.. .stop initiating. stop asking for it.
is it that his sex drive is lower than yours?
is he using too much porn?
how is everything other than sex? is he attentive, is he affectionate?
My husband has sadly a very low sex drive and our timing is off... if I didn't have daily affection from him, I'd be miserable... but because he cuddles and kisses me daily I'm able to cope with sex once every two months or so....
basing your personal feelings of desirability on what another person does is not ever a good idea. It's hard to get it out of your head but HIS wanting you or not wanting you (sex wise) is not a validation or lack of validation of your sex appeal or desirability.
You say you've talked to him... how have those conversations gone?
are you guys living together now? (sex often decreases once you move in together)
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