A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy over the internet.i had seen him around before and we were aquainted but never really hung out,until one night we were both bored and he came over and we watched movies.well he started kissing me and i ended up giving him a blow job twice that night.didnt do anything else becuz it was that time of the month for me.a couple weeks later we were chatting and he comes over and we had sex.probably a bad decision,but i guess im just lonely these days.before all of this i always thought he seemed kind of reserved and hard to read when we chatted online,like maybe he is the quiet type.but i thought that would change becuz in person he seems different.but even now after we had sex he is not very chatty,and i am tired of trying to initiate conversation.i just have a bad feeling.like maybe he only wants sex.i dont regret it becuz i am human and i enjoyed it,but i also would like to get to know him better as a person.im not sure we are on the same page and i dont know if i should bring it up,because he doesnt bring it up.ive never had to deal with a guy like this,im used to a guy pursuing me,not me being the pursuer.is it worth still talking to him or should i just cut contact and leave the ball in his court.he does seem nice,just very quiet and i cant figure him out.its very frustrating.i know jerks come in all forms and even a nice guy can have not so good intentions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): thanks for the responses.i actually got up the nerve and asked in an email why he hardly talks to me.i didnt really like the response i got lol said he has a lot going on and has been busy basically.and that he doesnt want to date,just friends.didnt say why he doesnt want to date,just that he doesnt want to.i was fine with the idea of being just friends,until i read that lol now im just thinking,why was i good enough for sex but not good enough to even consider dating? i guess its just me wanting what i cant have.needless to say,that is the first and last time i have sex with someone outside of a relationship.i dont think i want to even be friends with him now,it would be too hard on my self confidence,always wondering whats so bad about me that makes me undateable.well,lesson learned:)
A
male
reader, ShouldKnowBetter  +, writes (23 March 2008):
Personally dont agree with the comment of him having had his fun on the basis you seem to suggest that he was like this before the sex as well.Some blokes are quiet, many people are different on the internet to how they are in real life and I dont mean in a faked way but in that they dont see the value of "chat" but instead want to look up facts (or porn ;)) etc. Realistically only you can answer if he is worth the time and effort of pursuing, and given the age we are in I dont think there is anything wrong with the female being the pursuer, or if you want someone who is going to be more animate in your internet life - just dont complain that the next person is a stalker who wont shut up after you have dumped him :)
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (23 March 2008):
 Well, you just need to figure out if he's worth the hassle. Personally, I think he may have just thought of the situation as just some fun and no relationship. He may have had his fun does not want to have a relationship with you beyond that.
Or he could just be quiet and shy about it. But well you just need to figure if he'll be worth it or if you can find a better guy out there for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): Hmmm, it seems to me that the lines of communication have well & truely been opened, so shyness on his part shouldn't really be an issue here. Unless you've somehow given him mixed signals he should be able to let you know if he's into it. I've wasted a lifetime giving guys the benefit of the doubt & I can't remember a single time when that worked out for me! Move along - .01% chance you'll miss out on something good, 100% chance you'll find something better, & easier...! That thing about love taking work - all thing being equal, it's really only referring to keeping a relationship going, not convincing one to start.
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