A
female
age
41-50,
*ichelle411
writes:i really messed up a friendship over a yr ago and i really miss her. i hooked up w/her kids dad they had been split up for a couple yrs before this happened, and she lives out of state, so it wasn't like i broke them up. we were like sisters and the bestest of friends i have wrote an apology letter to her when all of this was going on and i still have yet to talk to her. i miss her and we have a mutual friend that i still talk to, and i hear that she is doing really good. is it too late to fix this for us??? please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Michelle from all the men in the world you had to sleep with your best friend’s ex. There is an unspoken code about this and you violated it. how about letting her be. You hurt her and you destroyed your friendship in the process. Bottom line – she will never forgive you. That man is the father of her kids and well there is history there. I hope that man was worth betraying a friend. Something tells me you are not with him anymore?? Do not rub salt in her wounds. Sometimes we just need to let things be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Now that the time has passed, try writing her another letter about how sorry you are that she is hurt.
Avoid saying anything to defend yourself or even explain yourself, but say something like I know there is no excuse for what I have done, I didn't intend to hurt you and I value our friendship and I am deeply sorry that I hurt you.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forive me because I really miss you. But I accept that you may not be willing to do that for me, but I certainly hope you can do that for you and you are no longer angry at me.
I wish you all the happiness in the world and have a blessed holiday.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
Oh dear. Friends' ex's are nearly always out of bounds for this reason. It can all go wrong because there is too much history. It doesn't matter that he was single, she will see it as a betrayal. I think maybe you could try writing her another letter to ask her to be friends, but don't hold your breath.
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