A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love to have sex with my wife, but lately, I have found that I have a "window of opportunity" to when it can be done.The only time she will be in the mood is between 7:00pm and 8:00pm after she has come home from work, had dinner, and doesn't have anything else to do.If there are any chores, or if she works late, or whatever... The problem is that this happens all the time, there is always something that pushes her past her "time zone".I've talked to her about it, but she doesn't seem to care. What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Hello. I agree with the other responses. Women can find it hard to be 'mechanical' about sex. We need some 'foreplay' and by that I don't just mean physical foreplay...........it could be sending a lovey dovey text to us whilst we are on the way home from work, or greeting us warmly when we get home and cooking for us or taking us out etc .. Also, as a woman, I like to be fresh and relaxed a lot of the time before having sex and sometimes after work I don't feel as though I am at my best, so I often find the sex better at weekends to be honest, although we do have sex most days during the week but how it will can vary so much. I find that if my partner is loving and funny and flirty with me and considerate in other ways, it kinds of stokes the fire, if you know what I mean. I know this is subjective because I'm only talking about my own experiences but I do know that women love to feel wanted, pampered and appreciated, well all of my friends do anyway. Some romance is lovely and when I get home from work, I am tired from travelling and working as it is and to be honest, if I have to cook and wash up as well, by the time I have done that I just want to sit down with a drink/some tea and watch a comedy or a film or something...........and I am speaking as someone who has a very high sex drive and would happily have sex with my partner (who also has a high drive) 2 to 3 times a day if poss and always at least once, so it's saying something about how the pressures of life/work etc can affect even the most frisky people!! Talk to her too, tell her how much you fancy her and appreciate her (and prove it too by actions) and love being with her.......there's NO bigger turn off than a husband who doesn't talk and seems not to appreciate us and take us for granted (even if they didn't mean it to come across that way). I once accused my partner of 'just wanting to relieve himself' because we got into a bit of a routine which got boring and after that we both made some effort and got it back on track. I'm not sure if this is much help but it's just some thoughts from me and if when all is said and done it is still a problem then you may have to look to marriage guidance work to see if there's a deeper issue - it's hard to know exactly without knowing the people and circumstances, any history etc, involved but in a lot of cases it really is a simple case of communication - anyway good luck and here's to a happy married life! Take care x
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (18 February 2008):
You need to understand that seduction doesn't only start in the bedroom that's the mistake most men make.It begins with how you treat her early morning and when she comes from work.Helping out with house chores is really a big turn on for most women.So if you want more sex,treat her better outside the bedroom and she'll reward you in the bedroom.On the other hand,depending on how you trust your wife,you can try to find out what keeps her busy apart from work when she's not home! Could be a reason. But please be nice to her and she'll also be nice to you.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 She is too tired and not in the mood for sex and want to relax during that time. You may perhaps help her with the household chores and lighten her load.
She may feel gratitude and repay you back.
Do you help her with the household chores? Do you romance her and make her feel loved?
I have written two articles and I hope you you can get some insights about women.
http://www.pinksuzie.com/2007/09/13/want-more-sex-do-more-houseworks/
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2007/11/04/why-women-lose-interest-in-sex/
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A
male
reader, EasyEK  +, writes (18 February 2008):
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You do have my simpathy as I also had gone through some serious marriage misery recently as well.From what you are saying, it is not clear how long long this has been going on in your marriage but from your age range, one should expect that your wife would be in the age where marital sex life should be the best of what it can get.If I were you (and with my recent experience), this could only be a vibe for something that's going wrong. It could be an early warning for something you should act on pretty quickly before things get out of hand. To start with, I would suggest you discuss seriously with your wife and tell her how this is affecting you.Good Luck.
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