A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i love my ex very dearly and i want her back but i dont know what to do. heres the story ( the short version). we were together for almost 3 years until about a month ago. the reason we broke up in the first place is because i didnt trust her and i thought she was cheating. she got tired of hearing it so she said we need some time apart so that she could make me happy so that we could be happy together. at first i was against it because i was afraid that she would lose feelings for me and that we would never get back together. well we tried it out but i still couldnt trust her but i was still there for her when she needed me ( which is all the time) i gave her money,watched the kids so she could go out with her friends, etc. i have no problem with doin things for her but all i want is some appreciation and gratitude. after a while i felt as though she was taking advantage of me, and when i would metion this to her it always ended in an argument because she gets mad. and the last one was really bad because i got tired of feeling used and hurt when all i do is everything to please her. i said a lot of mean and hurtful things to her because i was so hurt and i wanted to hurt her for hurting me so much. now she doesnt want anything to do with me unless i want 2 see the children. she dosent even want to b friends. i love her and i miss her so much. can someone please help me get my baby back. please.
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male
reader, myshell  +, writes (2 July 2007):
Man,You sure you want her back? Sounds like she only ever wanted someone as a protector or home base while she did what she wanted. Don't think she wants or deserves your love mate ... there are thousands who do. Right now you are 'imprinted'( like a duckling is imprinted by the first moving thing it sees) with her too. Free yourself to find YOU first. Even generate a bit of healthy anger to break the bond. Clear all the baggage of you mementos and memories too. Recognise too that if she came back now nothing would change. But if she was to come back when you're emotionally free you might have a chance to make things work.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 It sounds like she IS taking advantage of you. Don't mention it to her but stop giving her money, unless its money for the kids if they are yours that is as you didn't say. She has to give aswell as take!
All you can do is apologise for the nasty things you said. We all mess up and bitch at someone at some point and say things that hurt somebody else. Send her some flowers with a note saying how sorry you are.
Give her time to cool off and don't pester her. When she cools off she may be ready to hear you apologise properly.
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