A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:ok i have a very serious and heartbreaking situation. ive been with my fiance for almost a year and the first like 3 or 4 months we were always happy we never fought. but now it seems like that all we do right now. he is in a halfway house and can only come home on weekends and when he is home we are fine we are inseperable but during the week it never fails he always finds something get pissed at me for and he is telling me almost daily to go back home in salt lake and that he cant deal with me anymore. but i cant see why im not doing anything wrong and he still freaks out on me. he tells me i havent done anything for him when i have done everything in my power to make him as comfortable with where he is at... while he is home on weekends he treats me like a queen there is nothing he wont do for me and he tells me that he loves me more than life itself and that he refuses to lose as i do as well but then he turns around and tells me to leave and i love him to much to walk away. what should i do please help me
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (5 December 2008):
 Hi,
Whatever the issues he is dealing with right now it is clear he is still in need of some recovery here, he is venting at you maybe because he can and can't do it to anyone else if he has pent up anger and no one to release that at you might be the fall guy for that when he does see you if you can imagine a pressure cooker ready to burst till we turn it down it slowly gets less and less steamed up that is how you deal with this when he is ready to burst be calm try and talk to him rationally and eventually he will calm down he sounds to me as if he is a different person on weekdays to weekends? could be in the halfway house he is feeling closed in! and looks forward to the freedom of the weekend!
Be patient with him and see if you can talk to him about these issues if he won't listen to you it might be a good idea to ask at the halfway house how his behaviour is there?
Get an idea of what is going on when your not with him it can't be much fun for him in this situation and i'd take a guess he is pretty much down about being there that won't help his mood swings either, for now be patient and try and help with the outbursts as calmly as you can take care.
Ginalolabridga
A
female
reader, k_c100 + ♥, writes (4 December 2008):
 You mentioned he is in a halfway house and while you havent given a reason, I imagine that his life might have been quite difficult recently/in the past and he may have a few issues coming from that.
If you really love him then you should maybe try and get him to see a therapist to work through his issues, its not right that he can be so lovely to you at the weekend yet when your not there he can be so nasty. If he really loved you he will want to try and stop treating you like that as he should want to do anything to make you happy.
Have you sat down with him at the weekend and explained to him how he is making you feel? He might not realise what he is doing and might just need you to calmly point it out that he picks fights with you for no obvious reason.
But simply it could be that he just misses you so much while he is not with you and that he is struggling with the distance between you during the week. It needs to be his decision whether or not he can handle the distance, and he needs to decide whether or not he can control his negative feelings and stop taking it out on you.
Good luck I hope things get better for you.
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