A
female
age
30-35,
*dsbabygirl
writes:I lost my boyfriends trust by doing some pretty stupid things. When we were going out fore about 7 months I contacted 2 people I really felt something for at one time and I couldn't even tell him why. Truth is I didn't know myself. But now I know that it was my immaturity of not wanting to be in a long-term relationship (which I am willing to take on now). I love him with all my heart and I want to gain back his trust. What can I do to let him know that he is all I want? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fayeina  +, writes (14 August 2007):
I am in a similar situation at the moment and was wondering the same thing.
I think trust is something you have to earn. I got a text of an old friend (actually a friend nothing more) and lied about who it was from. I think i did it to protect him but its not the first white lie i've told so he was hurt by it and thinks that without trust we have nothing.
The first step i am taking is to change my phone number - he doesnt think this will work but if you think of all the old flames and friends you have that you dont talk to and arent really bothered about it just makes you feel easier when your phone goes off and you know it can be only one of say 30 people and none of them are going to start an argument or upset him or tempt you to lie about who it is.
Its an uphill battle but if you want it its worth it in the end. good luck.
A
female
reader, edsbabygirl +, writes (5 August 2007):
edsbabygirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question That is an amazing analogy. Thank you so much. I do think I know what to do!
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (5 August 2007):
Winning back somebodys trust after you have lost it is you will find a long and arduous task.
I take it from your question you are still with him but you are maybe not that happy at the moment.
You just have to keep doing the responsible and nice things and just keep doing them.
Think of it like this if you like.
If you can imagine a simulation of a relationship - (you have a large pot with some white paint in it).
When trust is betrayed by an action you add a measure of black paint into the pot of white - the colour goes grey - how many acts of goodness, mature, nice, responsible things (Measures of white paint) do you have to do (add) before the relationship becomes perfect again (The pain goes white again)
You have to keep on doing the good things and be patient.
...............................
|
